Attempting to stop your sexual compulsion behavior requires a non-simple truth: the need to become comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. Once you have acknowledged you need sex addiction help, and made the decision to get help, you need to prepare yourself for a period of dealing with the withdrawal symptoms of sex addictions. Like any drug or substance, it’s not going to be an easy ride. Going through withdrawal from sex addiction is similar to withdrawal from many other substances such as drugs or alcohol. If you are going to become sober from the behaviors that make up your sex addiction, you can expect there to be both physiological and psychological cravings and urgings that accompany your journey.

What to Expect During Withdrawal

This makes a lot of sense as you may notice that you get to a place (say 4-7 days) before the cravings come back with a vengeance. There is not a clear-cut answer to the question of what to expect during withdrawal. It does help to know roughly how long recovery takes. Just as everyone’s sexual addiction is different, so is everyone’s experience with withdrawal. You may become depressed or have sudden bouts of anxiety. You may experience mental and physical exhaustion, have sharp mood swings, or find yourself thinking irrationally; you may have unexplainable physical pains. You may feel ill, cranky, irritable, want to sleep more or have trouble sleeping.

Three things are worth knowing before you start:

• The worst of the withdrawal symptoms will occur during the first two weeks of abstinence. Symptoms can be physical, emotional, mental or a combination of all three.
• Although highly uncomfortable, it’s important that sex addicts hang on and get through this period without giving in to the addiction. Regular attendance at 12-step meetings can help, as can sex addiction therapy and addiction treatment programs.
• Oftentimes, abstaining from acting out and then indulging in the behavior again can result in what relapse-prevention research calls the “abstinence violation effect” — a term from Alan Marlatt and Judith Gordon’s work on relapse prevention. Binging can occur, the sexual addiction may intensify, and the addict winds up feeling worse than before.

Withdrawal Symptoms People Commonly Describe

• Irritability
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Sleeplessness
• Agitation
• Hyperactivity and hypersensitivity
• Anger
• Boredom
• Physical and emotional discomfort

These symptoms can change or go from one extreme to the other. An addict might feel hyperactive one day and not be able to get out of bed the next. It’s not uncommon for those in sex addiction recovery to feel like they’re going insane.

There can be a profound sense of loss, because the addiction has been the addict’s “best friend.”

Reading through the list of possible outcomes and symptoms of stopping your acting out behavior, one may gather the impression of, well, why bother? Getting to the other side of withdrawal requires a lot of you — patience, self-compassion, and a plan.

Planning Your Withdrawal

Coming up with a plan to combat the symptoms of sexual compulsion withdrawal is of major importance. But what helps to deal with what can feel like an onslaught of ups and downs?

1. Move

Physically move, as in exercise, playing sports, moving your body from one place to another. When you act out sexually, you are releasing endorphins so it is important to find other, healthier avenues to replicate that. Studies suggest that adding exercise to addiction treatment (which typically means counseling, self-help support groups, and/or medication) can strengthen the effects of sex addiction recovery. In short, you may get a natural high instead of the fantasized version you are chasing.

2. Create

Creativity not only helps feed the soul, but it also helps with overcoming an addiction. When you create something — a painting, a musical piece, or woodworking, to name a few — you feel good about yourself.

3. Connect

Most people who struggle with compulsive sexual behavior isolate from others. Perhaps you don’t follow through with friends and instead opt to create the necessary “alone” time to act out. A richer, deeper happiness is rooted in the quality of your relationships. Relationships require time and commitment, so reach out to others. Make plans. Further those connections.

If porn rather than sexual behaviour is the thing you are stopping, the picture is slightly different — here is what porn withdrawal symptoms feel like.