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Attempting to stop your sexual compulsion behavior requires a non-simple truth: the need to become comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. Once you have acknowledged you need sex addiction help, and made the decision to get help, you need to prepare yourself for a period of dealing with the withdrawal symptoms of sex addictions. Like any drug or substance, it’s not going to be an easy ride. Going through withdrawal from sex addiction is similar to withdrawal from many other substances such as drugs or alcohol. If you are going to become sober from the behaviors that make up your sex addiction, you can expect there to be both physiological and psychological cravings and urgings that accompany your journey.
This makes a lot of sense as you may notice that you get to a place (say 4-7 days) before the cravings come back with a vengeance. There is not a clear-cut answer to the question of what to expect during withdrawal. Just as everyone’s sexual addiction is different, so is everyone’s experience with withdrawal. You may become depressed or have sudden bouts of anxiety. You may experience mental and physical exhaustion, have sharp mood swings, or find yourself thinking irrationally; you may have unexplainable physical pains. You may feel ill, cranky, irritable, want to sleep more or have trouble sleeping.
♦ Hyperactivity and hypersensitivity
♦ Physical and emotional discomfort
These symptoms can change or go from one extreme to the other. An addict might feel hyperactive one day and not be able to get out of bed the next. It’s not uncommon for those in sex addiction recovery to feel like they’re going insane. There can be profound sense of loss because the addiction has been the addict’s “best friend.”
Reading through the list of possible outcomes and symptoms of stopping your acting out behavior, one may gather the impression of, well, why bother? Getting to the other side of withdrawal requires a lot of you—patience, self-compassion, and a plan.
Coming up with a plan to combat the symptoms of sexual compulsion withdrawal is of major importance. But what helps to deal with what can feel like an onslaught of ups and downs?
Physically move, as in exercise, playing sports, moving your body from one place to another. When you act out sexually, you are releasing endorphins so it is important to find other, healthier avenues to replicate that. Studies suggest that adding exercise to addiction treatment (which typically means counseling, self-help support groups, and/or medication) can strengthen the effects of sex addiction recovery. In short, you may get a natural high instead of the fantasized version you are chasing.
Creativity not only helps feed the soul, but it also helps with overcoming an addiction. When you create something — a painting, a musical piece, or woodworking, to name a few — you feel good about yourself.
Most people who struggle with compulsive sexual behavior isolate from others. Perhaps you don’t follow through with friends and instead opt to create the necessary “alone” time to act out. A richer, deeper happiness is rooted in the quality of your relationships. Relationships require time and commitment, so reach out to others. Make plans. Further those connections.
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My partner needs help
Lisa, Please send for a free sample of our books, "Breaking the Cycle" and "A Couple's Guide to Sexual Addiction" by entering your info into the sidebar on the top of this page. Also, your husband can call me for a personal consultation.
Best, George Collins, Director
Thank you so much for explaining how the worst symptoms of withdrawal will happen during the first two weeks when you are quitting your addiction. My sister has had a problem with a personal addiction for a long time and she is finally getting ready to seek help. She said that because it is an addiction to sex she will do better by talking to a counseling professional with whom she feels comfortable, so now we are looking at the different options available.
Faylinn, Good to hear from you. I would be happy to talk to your sister so that I could refer her to Faye (our female therapist). Faye specializes in helping women like your sister. Do have her call me if she would like some help.
George Collins (Director)