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7 Signs Your Partner Is A Sex Addict
7 Signs Your Partner Is A Sex Addict
If something seems amiss in your sexual relationship with your partner, it's possible that he is compulsively using internet porn or sexual connection with others in a destructive way and may need help with porn addiction. There are warning signs you might see if your partner is having a problem with sexual compulsive behavior. These are the signs of a sex addict that partners notice first:
The Seven Warning Signs
1. He may spend a lot of private time on his computer, his phone, or at work.
Working long hours could be a cover for sexual compulsive behavior like viewing of internet porn. When you notice your partner is on the computer, he may turn it off or flip to another page. He may set up secret or hidden email accounts. He also may hide his cell phone to avoid your detection of his phone calls or text messages.
2. In general, his demeanor may change.
You may notice that he's acting differently. He may become more secretive, private, unreliable, critical, or irritable. He might not be as social as he used to be and there may be unexplained absences. You may feel like you don't get straight answers anymore.
3. You may experience a lack of connection and intimacy.
Your partner may not seem available to you and you may feel he's avoiding you. He seems tuned out or lost.
4. Your sexual interactions with your partner may change.
Your partner may become uncharacteristically demanding or rough sexually. He may require more and more stimulation or he may become unresponsive sexually and cease initiating sex. He may develop a preference for masturbation.
5. His relationship with his body may change.
He may become overly concerned with his penis, with caring for, touching, adjusting his pants, or exposing his anatomy.
6. Money might become an issue in your relationship.
If he is spending money on porn, prostitutes, or other illicit hypersexualization behaviors, there may be a lack of funds or unexplained expenses.
7. He may be sexually unfaithful.
Not every sexual betrayal is a sign of sexual addictions, however, if your partner is engaging sexually with another or others and is not stopping, even if he says he wants to, he probably has an issue with sexual compulsion.
Is My Husband a Sex Addict?
It is the same question with a different word in it, and the signs above are the
ones to look at. You may know that something is wrong with your intimate sexual
connection, but you wonder if your husband could be a sex addict. Maybe he is
looking at a lot of porn on the internet and masturbating, or he may have
escalated his online activities. He may be frequenting prostitutes, engaging in
multiple affairs, or participating in other sexual encounters that are outside
of his relationship with you. If he is engaging in sexual behaviors that are
destructive to the relationship and he wants to stop but doesn't seem to be able
to, then it is wise for you to suspect sexual compulsivity or addiction.
You cannot make your husband, or anyone else, see what they do not want to
recognize or are not ready to face. The most important point for you to remember
is to trust yourself and your intuition. You are not responsible for his
sexually addictive behaviors. His choices about how he deals with his
irritations and stimulations are his alone, as are yours.
Unfortunately, there is no magically revealing or definitive list that will let you know without question that your partner has an issue and needs sex addiction help. You may see all of these signs, other signs, or none of them. These behaviors could point to other addictions or other issues, or they could point to an affair.
However, it is true that if your partner's sexual behaviors are causing stress to your relationship, to his connection to friends and loved ones, or to his work, then sexual addictions could be a problem. If his instinctive desire for sexual activity is overriding his capacity to regulate those impulses in a way that is preventing connection and intimacy, then there is a problem. Even subtle patterns like compulsive looking or staring behavior can be indicators that something deeper is going on.
The difficulty with any addictive behavior is that ultimately it does not provide the desired relief or reward. Addiction creates an internal war. Life does not work. Ultimately, you can never get enough of what won't satisfy you.
If you or someone you love are struggling with sexual compulsive behavior, reach out to the experts at Neulia Compulsion Solutions for sex addiction help.
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Why does it sound like you all are saying it's the males fault??? When in fact it can be both or it could be the female thats the problem. Like for example ignoring or only wanting just herself to cop a nut, ect.....it just sounds to much one sided in everything.
I just found out my partner has a porn habit. I didn’t expect it was that extreme until he can’t get his equipment up or can’t sustain the erection when we do it. Apparently he doesn’t have that problem when wanking to his fetish.
When I found out I went ballistic. He said he’s sorry and he’ll go cold turkey on his porn habit. He deleted all his videos, and according to him, he has not indulged in the past 100+ days.
I believed him, until I found out he’s been peeking to pictures. I considered that relapse, he said we didn’t agree what relapse means. That I only told him indulging and wanking to the content is relapse.
He is asking for another chance. Will I give him that?
Jen, If I were you I'd tell him (firmly) that, unless he gets help, you're leaving....and mean it. Life with a practicing sex addict is way not good. Have him call me or get a free sample of our best selling books, "Breaking the Cycle" and "A Couple's Guide to Sexual Addiction," by putting your name and address into the sidebar at the top of this page. We're here and we can help.
Best, George Collins, Director
(925) 932-0201
I am 71 years old. My husband is 75. We have been in a relationship for 13 years, married for 8. I discovered after we were married, about five years into the relationship, when I learned to use the computer and a cell phone, that my husband is always, everyday, on either a porn site or a singles site or a singles, porn site! I did confront him and says I must be the one going to those sites because he never has. That's what I am facing. He admits nothing and never will. I have been living with this for a long time. Age and finances have kept me in this relationship. I can't get over the total feeling of failure this has caused. My resentment has grown tremendously. Short of leaving, is there anything else I can do? I know the answer, I just really need help. As I write this out, it's even more humiliating and that's what paralyzes me.
Lynn Ann, As long as your husband's in denial there isn't much hope for a normal relationship. The only "leverage" you have is YOU. What would he do if you said you WERE going to leave? This CAN be a great motivator for men who are "stuck." This is YOUR life. There is no good reason to live it with someone who is not faithful. That's torture. If you like I'd be happy to have you talk with our female therapist (Faye) for some tips on what to do and resources for you to use.
Best, George
(925) 932-0201
My boyfriend was widowed fall of 2020. He had declared he needed time to work through his grief - understandably. No contact for 6 months then randomly calls me since he wants to see me and has missed me. We do not spend any significant amount of time together due to busy lives. However when we are together he seems to only want to talk about sex, porn, pleasure, strippers, and his sexual exploits from the past. He carries and monitors his cell phone like an eagle. Texts reading and sending all the time but insists there is no one else he is seeing. He guards his cell phone like it is kryptonite. He has been socializing with strippers outside of their work - lunch etc. He has started becoming more rough when intimate pulling my hair, etc. I have been respecting his time to grieve but I think there is much more going on here than meets the eye. He becomes very defensive and rude when confronted even in a gentle manner. Thoughts?
Lynn, From what you say, it seems as though your BF is DEEP into porn and who knows what else. If I were you I would give him an ultimatum to get help and move on if he doesn't. Have him call me (personally) if he wishes and I will do a free assessment of his situation and tell him how to change his mind from objectification to intimacy. You can also get free samples in our best selling books by filling out the form here on the sidebar of this page.
Best, George
925-932-0201
George,
I have been concerned about his mental state. We broke off our relationship for 7 months and he recently reached out to me wanting to reconnect. It has only been a couple of weeks and I am already noticing sexual exploitive behaviors. Lying, hiding texts, and not be honest in regards to extracurricular activities. I don’t want to end up with some nasty STD or worse. This sexual side of him is. It who I thought he was. I am thinking I need to give him much space and walk away. He has no desire to help himself at this point. This is heartbreaking.
Time to move on. There is someone wonderful waiting for you if you're careful to choose well.
Best, George
I have been married to a man with compulise sex behavior for years have 2 grown daughters he is 72 penis is not able to mess with himself what is next?
I talked to the guy that wrote this book and I need help
I have a boyfriend he is a truck driver and who I believe is bisexual or is hiding it. The reason I say this is because he has many toys around the house including a blow up doll and seems very moody. He also and I've gotten ahold of his phone and seen messages from him to other guys about meeting up for sexual in counters including pictures of him and other men's penises and I've also seen his email where he is messaging guys in Craigslist responding to their ads I need to know what I can do to confront him or help to cope with this. I have two children that aren't his living with us and need some advice I am at my breaking point
I am always walking around the house nude and constantly getting caught masterbating to porn i need help
My husband wants sex EVERY night before bed and honestly I am not always in the mood. We get into so many disagreements because I may fall asleep majority of the time. Although he makes sure that he gets his, while I'm sleep on my side, he pulls my pants/underwear down and have sex with me. It messes up my sleep every night and he has the nerve to ask me how was my sleep. He's never sleeped around on me so I just need to know, is there an issue with his sex habits? Mind you, some nights he have to watch porn when he's sexing me while mI sleep. Please help because divorce is not an option.
Leslie, Your case sounds extreme. Your husband is probably using sex with you as a "stress reliever" or coping strategy. He needs to talk to us or a professional and/or get our books, "Breaking the Cycle" or "A Couples Guide to Sexual Addiction." In those books we talk about WHY men want so much sex and WHAT ELSE to do with that energy (besides keeping your wife up at night). Please have him call me if he'd like some answers. I'm happy to explain this to him in a brief phone session.
Best, George Collins, Director (925) 932 0201
If a spouse is hiding his porn from his wife and employer by using an alias (this person is a federal agent) would it be fair to say this person is addicted? He is even buying porn and possibly backing it up for other men. The backup CDs show women being degraded and slapped.
Charlotte, Yes, this IS sexual addiction. For sure. Give us a call. We'll support you. And, we'll help your spouse heal. You can also get our book, A Couple's Guide to Sexual Addiction. That will help you see the truth of your situation. We're here when you need us. Best, George
I have had a problem for many years with sexual addiction. Always women never ending in a second by second encounter, looking for a fix that could satisfy me but it never did. I was addicted to sexual activity but I am healing. I was hooked on every type and I don't need to list them. I lived a very
disgusting, shameful and damaging life. I hurt everyone I know because of the deception and now my wife hates me. My child saw a text on my phone and my life became an open book to my spouse. I am healing and I have to thank George for his book, I know the book saved my life! I am healing and feel so much better about myself and who I am. I no longer live in daily shame, a lie, nor am I controlled by my damn past. I highly recommend the book -read it in one sitting and get engaged with their group--They saved my life and possibly my marriage. Thank you George and James!
Markus, I'm so happy that we've been able to be so much help to you. We're always here if you need us. Best, George
So i would like to ask and share my story.
My girl friend.were a gay couple . First of all she is a alcoholic shez now in Rehab but every time she drinks she does sexual acts has had random sex in a park with a stranger. Had random sex in a car with someone that took her home. When she drinks she has tryed touching my friends privite parts and. Engages sexaul acts 90 percent of the time when drunk. sober i never noticed any. Sexual acts she had control but i dont knw where her mind could have been thu. Her therapist said shes not a sex addict but i really considered it of course alcohol. Started it but it was the only thing on her mind. I felt its a real big problem. She asked to buy sex toys and i never really did. I kinda also felt. She need that penatration and maybe thats y she went out to look for it when we had problems she most of the time. Shes gay not bisexual. Would do it with males so i go into her past she was sexual very young with a male family member i recently found out. So my question is due to all thoose acts could. She have. A sex problem as well as a alcohol problem. This is all tuff to share but i would like another opion i dont think her theeapist really knws all shes sexaully done. Ty for reading
Mary Lou, I'd be happy to talk to you about this issue. Give me a call at Compulsion Solutions - 925-932-0201. Best, George
My husband confessed he was a sex addicted after I caught dirty emails between him another woman. This is the second time. The first time was with a client of his and I left after I found they were still talking on the phone. He confessed that he fantizes about others. He watches a lot of porn, and he prefers masturbation well he doesn't a lot. He told me that he Keeps telling him self be was going to stop with the porn and masturbation and dirty talk but can't. He when I came back things were great and now that I found the emails my world has been rock considering our 5yr anniversary is Friday. He is my high school sweetheart. What should I do
Nicole, I'd be happy to talk to you. Just call Compulsion Solutions.
Best, George Collins, Director
I really think I'm dealing with a sex addict and porn addict and a compulsive liar he is bipolor too ...
My husband is 59 a truck driver who works till all hours of the night (local driver) is it possible that he could have a sex addiction if he has diabetes high Blood pressure and he can have sex three times in an hour then wake up have sex then masturbate in the shower I believe he does, he double talks me, and manipulation me too with his answers. I have found him looking at porn on occasion please help me
Linda, Give me a call at Compulsion Solutions. I'd be happy to talk to you. 925-932-0201.