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7 Signs Your Partner Is A Sex Addict

7 Signs Your Partner Is A Sex Addict

If something seems amiss in your sexual relationship with your partner, it's possible that he is compulsively using internet porn or sexual connection with others in a destructive way and may need help with porn addiction. There are warning signs you might see if your partner is having a problem with sexual compulsive behavior:

1. He may spend a lot of private time on his computer, his phone, or at work. Working long hours could be a cover for sexual compulsive behavior like viewing of internet porn. When you notice your partner is on the computer, he may turn it off or flip to another page. He may set up secret or hidden email accounts. He also may hide his cell phone to avoid your detection of his phone calls or text messages.

2. In general, his demeanor may change. You may notice that he's acting differently. He may become more secretive, private, unreliable, critical, or irritable. He might not be as social as he used to be and there may be unexplained absences. You may feel like you don't get straight answers anymore.

3. You may experience a lack of connection and intimacy. Your partner may not seem available to you and you may feel he's avoiding you. He seems tuned out or lost.

4. Your sexual interactions with your partner may change. Your partner may become uncharacteristically demanding or rough sexually. He may require more and more stimulation or he may become unresponsive sexually and cease initiating sex. He may develop a preference for masturbation.

5. His relationship with his body may change. He may become overly concerned with his penis — with caring for, touching, adjusting his pants, or exposing his anatomy. 

6. Money might become an issue in your relationship. If he is spending money on porn, prostitutes, or other illicit hypersexualization behaviors, there may be a lack of funds or unexplained expenses.

7. He may be sexually unfaithful . Not every sexual betrayal is a sign of sexual addictions, however, if your partner is engaging sexually with another or others and is not stopping, even if he says he wants to, he probably has an issue with sexual compulsion.

Unfortunately, there is no magically revealing or definitive list that will let you know without question that your partner has an issue and needs sex addiction help. You may see all of these signs, other signs, or none of them. These behaviors could point to other addictions or other issues, or they could point to an affair.

However, it is true that if your partner's sexual behaviors are causing stress to your relationship, to his connection to friends and loved ones, or to his work, then sexual addictions could be a problem. If his instinctive desire for sexual activity is overriding his capacity to regulate those impulses in a way that is preventing connection and intimacy, then there is a problem.

The difficulty with any addictive behavior is that ultimately it does not provide the desired relief or reward. Addiction creates an internal war. Life does not work. Ultimately, you can never get enough of what won't satisfy you.

If you or someone you love are struggling with sexual compulsive behavior, reach out to the experts at Neulia Compulsion Solutions for sex addiction help.


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22 comments on “7 Signs Your Partner Is A Sex Addict”

  1. Why does it sound like you all are saying it's the males fault??? When in fact it can be both or it could be the female thats the problem. Like for example ignoring or only wanting just herself to cop a nut, just sounds to much one sided in everything.

  2. I have been married to a man with compulise sex behavior for years have 2 grown daughters he is 72 penis is not able to mess with himself what is next?

  3. George,
    I have been concerned about his mental state. We broke off our relationship for 7 months and he recently reached out to me wanting to reconnect. It has only been a couple of weeks and I am already noticing sexual exploitive behaviors. Lying, hiding texts, and not be honest in regards to extracurricular activities. I don’t want to end up with some nasty STD or worse. This sexual side of him is. It who I thought he was. I am thinking I need to give him much space and walk away. He has no desire to help himself at this point. This is heartbreaking.

  4. Lynn, From what you say, it seems as though your BF is DEEP into porn and who knows what else. If I were you I would give him an ultimatum to get help and move on if he doesn't. Have him call me (personally) if he wishes and I will do a free assessment of his situation and tell him how to change his mind from objectification to intimacy. You can also get free samples in our best selling books by filling out the form here on the sidebar of this page.

    Best, George

  5. My boyfriend was widowed fall of 2020. He had declared he needed time to work through his grief - understandably. No contact for 6 months then randomly calls me since he wants to see me and has missed me. We do not spend any significant amount of time together due to busy lives. However when we are together he seems to only want to talk about sex, porn, pleasure, strippers, and his sexual exploits from the past. He carries and monitors his cell phone like an eagle. Texts reading and sending all the time but insists there is no one else he is seeing. He guards his cell phone like it is kryptonite. He has been socializing with strippers outside of their work - lunch etc. He has started becoming more rough when intimate pulling my hair, etc. I have been respecting his time to grieve but I think there is much more going on here than meets the eye. He becomes very defensive and rude when confronted even in a gentle manner. Thoughts?

  6. I have a boyfriend he is a truck driver and who I believe is bisexual or is hiding it. The reason I say this is because he has many toys around the house including a blow up doll and seems very moody. He also and I've gotten ahold of his phone and seen messages from him to other guys about meeting up for sexual in counters including pictures of him and other men's penises and I've also seen his email where he is messaging guys in Craigslist responding to their ads I need to know what I can do to confront him or help to cope with this. I have two children that aren't his living with us and need some advice I am at my breaking point

  7. I am always walking around the house nude and constantly getting caught masterbating to porn i need help

  8. Leslie, Your case sounds extreme. Your husband is probably using sex with you as a "stress reliever" or coping strategy. He needs to talk to us or a professional and/or get our books, "Breaking the Cycle" or "A Couples Guide to Sexual Addiction." In those books we talk about WHY men want so much sex and WHAT ELSE to do with that energy (besides keeping your wife up at night). Please have him call me if he'd like some answers. I'm happy to explain this to him in a brief phone session.
    Best, George Collins, Director (925) 932 0201

  9. My husband wants sex EVERY night before bed and honestly I am not always in the mood. We get into so many disagreements because I may fall asleep majority of the time. Although he makes sure that he gets his, while I'm sleep on my side, he pulls my pants/underwear down and have sex with me. It messes up my sleep every night and he has the nerve to ask me how was my sleep. He's never sleeped around on me so I just need to know, is there an issue with his sex habits? Mind you, some nights he have to watch porn when he's sexing me while mI sleep. Please help because divorce is not an option.

  10. Charlotte, Yes, this IS sexual addiction. For sure. Give us a call. We'll support you. And, we'll help your spouse heal. You can also get our book, A Couple's Guide to Sexual Addiction. That will help you see the truth of your situation. We're here when you need us. Best, George

  11. If a spouse is hiding his porn from his wife and employer by using an alias (this person is a federal agent) would it be fair to say this person is addicted? He is even buying porn and possibly backing it up for other men. The backup CDs show women being degraded and slapped.

  12. I have had a problem for many years with sexual addiction. Always women never ending in a second by second encounter, looking for a fix that could satisfy me but it never did. I was addicted to sexual activity but I am healing. I was hooked on every type and I don't need to list them. I lived a very
    disgusting, shameful and damaging life. I hurt everyone I know because of the deception and now my wife hates me. My child saw a text on my phone and my life became an open book to my spouse. I am healing and I have to thank George for his book, I know the book saved my life! I am healing and feel so much better about myself and who I am. I no longer live in daily shame, a lie, nor am I controlled by my damn past. I highly recommend the book -read it in one sitting and get engaged with their group--They saved my life and possibly my marriage. Thank you George and James!

  13. So i would like to ask and share my story.
    My girl friend.were a gay couple . First of all she is a alcoholic shez now in Rehab but every time she drinks she does sexual acts has had random sex in a park with a stranger. Had random sex in a car with someone that took her home. When she drinks she has tryed touching my friends privite parts and. Engages sexaul acts 90 percent of the time when drunk. sober i never noticed any. Sexual acts she had control but i dont knw where her mind could have been thu. Her therapist said shes not a sex addict but i really considered it of course alcohol. Started it but it was the only thing on her mind. I felt its a real big problem. She asked to buy sex toys and i never really did. I kinda also felt. She need that penatration and maybe thats y she went out to look for it when we had problems she most of the time. Shes gay not bisexual. Would do it with males so i go into her past she was sexual very young with a male family member i recently found out. So my question is due to all thoose acts could. She have. A sex problem as well as a alcohol problem. This is all tuff to share but i would like another opion i dont think her theeapist really knws all shes sexaully done. Ty for reading

  14. My husband confessed he was a sex addicted after I caught dirty emails between him another woman. This is the second time. The first time was with a client of his and I left after I found they were still talking on the phone. He confessed that he fantizes about others. He watches a lot of porn, and he prefers masturbation well he doesn't a lot. He told me that he Keeps telling him self be was going to stop with the porn and masturbation and dirty talk but can't. He when I came back things were great and now that I found the emails my world has been rock considering our 5yr anniversary is Friday. He is my high school sweetheart. What should I do

  15. I really think I'm dealing with a sex addict and porn addict and a compulsive liar he is bipolor too ...

  16. My husband is 59 a truck driver who works till all hours of the night (local driver) is it possible that he could have a sex addiction if he has diabetes high Blood pressure and he can have sex three times in an hour then wake up have sex then masturbate in the shower I believe he does, he double talks me, and manipulation me too with his answers. I have found him looking at porn on occasion please help me

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