News Archives - Neulia, by Compulsion Solutions

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CAN I STOP THE PULL OF PORN?

Many men desperately want to stop the pull of porn. They want to know “Can I stop? If so, how?” Many of the guys who call mention that they’ve tried to stop, but haven't been able to. So is there a secret? Can you actually get rid of this nagging temptation? At Compulsion Solutions, we […]

Pause, Then Replace

PAUSE, THEN REPLACE You can't just remove your sexual acting out behavior. Yes, you can stop the behavior for a while, but just stopping doesn’t lead to lasting change. That’s because you can’t just remove something and expect it to stay gone. You need to replace it. You need to replace, not just temporarily distract. […]

Carry-On Only, Please!

Your acting out is a symptom — a symptom of a bigger issue. If you only focus on stopping behavior, you don’t get to the root of the problem, and it will continue. You might be able to control your porn addiction for a while — what has been called “white knuckling” — but what’s […]

Is Porn an Intimacy Killer?

Watching porn gives you an unrealistic view of sex. Why is that? It's unlikely that the person you’re in an actual relationship with is going to look like the person you see on the screen. What you see is manipulated — there’s lighting and photoshopping taking place, and so many other things that they can […]

Can I Masturbate During Recovery?

One of the most common questions I get from the men I help with sex addiction recovery is: Can I masturbate during recovery? Will this set me back? How can I tell the difference between a “normal” act and an addictive one? To start, let’s review some working definitions on masturbation, addiction, and compulsion: Masturbation: […]

“I’m Frustrated Because My Wife Won’t Initiate Sex” – Sound Familiar?

Working with men who are grappling with sex and porn addictions, I often hear a complaint come up in our counseling sessions: my wife won’t initiate sex and that’s frustrating to me. This is something that a lot of guys deal with. It’s almost viewed as a type of rejection. You yourself express appreciation for […]

Relationship Differences—How Much Is Too Much?

Common beliefs may tell you that it is essential to have the same interests and styles to co-exist happily. Some 64% of married Americans believe that “having shared interests” is very important for a successful marriage, according to the Pew Research Center. In fact, those surveyed ranked shared interests as more essential than good sex […]

Porn is Being Advertised to You (and Your Kids) All the Time

When I work with sex and porn addicts, one of the biggest challenges they face is the fact that porn is being advertised constantly. I don't just mean the crazy emails that end up in your spam folder, or sidebar ads on websites. I mean it's showing up in video games, in public, and even […]

How Countries around the World are Reacting to American Porn

American porn is becoming a more and more dangerous thing every day. We have a nation full of men (and increasingly, women) who are desperate for constant novelty, leading them further and further down the seemingly endless hardcore porn rabbit hole into darker and more fringe territory. And the rest of the world doesn’t necessarily […]

How to Satisfy Your Sex Addiction Symptoms

If you are seeking sex addiction recovery, your symptoms can feel overwhelming. How do you channel that energy and desire in a way that keeps you on-track? Sex addiction recovery will never be easy, but it is always possible. Here are a few brass-tacks ways to satisfy your symptoms and stay on the road to […]

Bad Advice on How to Quit Porn

If you’ve decided to quit porn, there is a wealth of advice out there about how to make it stick. Some of this advice is great, but some of it is, frankly, is hot garbage. Here are a few of the absolute worst ways to stop watching porn. Go It Alone Your pride might be […]

Why is Porn Addicting?

Is porn addicting? Like many other substances and behaviors that cause a dopamine spike in the brain — yes. Our brains are designed to seek the chemical rewards of pleasure, which is what makes it so easy to become addicted to anything that gives us a high-level dopamine hit, whether that be porn, sex, drugs, […]

Men: Look to Your Past. Do You Have a “Me Too” Moment?

In the wake of the terrible sexual harassment allegations against Harvey Weinstein, women all over social media are stepping forward to bravely say the words “Me Too” to show that they have also been victims of sexual harassment or sexual assault. The idea behind this movement is to show how widespread and how prevalent this […]

Is Porn Addiction Real?

To a person who struggles with compulsive sexual behavior like using online pornography, there is no such thing as a “little” bit of porn. A little bit becomes a whole lot, really quick. Despite that intimate knowledge of those who have come to realize that they are addicted to such behavior, many people scoff at […]

Sex and Intimacy: Are They the Same?

A recently published article opined that the reason fewer and fewer men are interested in marriage or long-term relationships is that they have easy access to sex through text messages, dating apps, and streaming internet porn. In other words, they don't have to try to win affection by making themselves presentable or by having a […]

Intentions versus Resolutions

The New Year brings feelings of change. At the start of the year it’s common to set resolutions. It’s a healthy practice to take stock of our lives and consider habits we’d like to change or ways we’d like to grow. Perhaps you want to lose weight, develop new hobbies, or change professional careers...the list […]

Which Emotion Will You Nurture?

There is a well-known tale about an elder who was teaching his grandson about life. It speaks to the need to demonstrate characteristics of peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, compassion, and faith. In short, if you nurture these emotions rather than negative emotions, such as jealousy, hate, and greed, you live a much nicer life. […]

Realistic Self Care When Dealing With A Partner's Porn/Sex Addiction

There's a prevalent idea out there about what self-care looks like, but it's not realistic. Here's why self-care is at the center of relationship counseling. Have you ever found yourself standing in the middle of an especially stressful day, wondering when was the last time you did anything for you? The concept of self-care is […]

"Son....I was a porn addict...."

The Porn Doc Is In! Dear Porn Doc, I’ve been in and out of various treatments for my addiction to online pornography and prostitution. My 12-year-old son recently got in trouble for viewing online porn. His mother (we are separated) blames me and I feel tremendously guilty. Would it be harmful to open up to […]

Spouse of Sex Addict? A couple committed to surviving? Watch This Video by Paldrom Collins

If your relationship has been rocked by sexually compulsive behavior, this book will provide you and your partner with concrete tools and guidelines to not only save your relationship, but take it to new depths of understanding, love, and connection. The book takes readers by the hand and gently and compassionately leads them from the […]

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