It’s possible to build an even stronger relationship if sex addiction or porn addiction has impacted your relationship. But how? One skill, a capacity that can be developed is undefended honesty. This is a form of honesty that builds on the truth that’s been revealed in the disclosure of your sexually compulsive behavior. This kind […]
After you’ve gained some skills that help you become aware of the urge to act out, you can start to unravel the inner mechanism, which is your inner addict. But how exactly do you do that? There has to be a next step, and it's not enough to just notice what’s happening. You need action […]
Theodore Roosevelt once said, “If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.” When I look back at my life when I was acting out, when my porn addiction was totally out of control, my life was a soap opera and I was […]
When you’re a porn addict or a sex addict in the throes of feeling an urge to act out, you can lose sight of something very important — the cost. Your addiction might say to you, “Remember how good you feel when you act out? I can help you feel great. I can help you […]
Like many men, I thought my pornography sexual addiction was a dirty little secret known only to me. However, my wife started picking up on the “signs,” such as how I was not really “there” in our relationship, how I frequently had trouble “finishing” during sex, and how I had a general lack of interest […]
I wake up every day with good intentions. I tell myself I won't look at porn. I tell myself I can quit doing this; but by mid-day, I've already visited my favorite sites three times. I feel like I can't stop myself, and that powerlessness is frightening. Does this mean I might be a sex […]
It took losing two wives before I finally admitted to myself that my use of porn was a serious problem. I finally realized I that porn and masturbation was running my life. That’s when I took the very big step (for me at the time) of calling a therapist to help me. How did […]
All guys do it, right? It doesn't mean you have a problem. It's not an addiction, is it? Why can't I watch a little porn? The problem for some men is that sex is an addictive substance, similar to alcohol and drugs. Think of it in terms of social drinkers vs. alcoholics: one can […]
You don't have to be a slave to porn. Below (from one of our amazing clients) are 6 things in your life that get better after you quit porn. You can do it too.Six months ago, my entire day revolved around porn. It was ruining my relationship. It was getting in the way of my […]
Can “looking” or ogling be a symptom of your sex compulsion? Does looking trigger you into deep fantasy leading to compulsive sexual thoughts that won’t stop until you act out? Often times “ogling” is a step in the wrong direction for sex addicts, leading to other unhealthy sexual behavior. It hurts spouses too - the […]
Recently, Josh Feinstein wrote a column for CBS Sports opining that Tiger Woods' father ruined his life. Even though I don't regularly follow golf, this caught my attention, because I completely agree with Josh's assessment of the situation. Tiger Woods is a publicly visible, but still tragic reminder that role modeling is how we learn […]
Attempting to stop your compulsive sexual behavior requires a non-simple truth—the need to become comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. Once you have acknowledged you have a sex addiction, and made the decision to get help, you need to prepare yourself for a period of withdrawal. Like any drug or substance, it’s not going to be easy […]
If you struggle with sexual compulsion behavior, have you tried “detoxing” from porn and/or sex? Detoxes seem to be all the rage. People are removing certain types of foods from their diets; experimenting with lessening or simply removing the levels of alcohol consumed, all in an effort to rid the body of toxins and to […]
Attempting to stop your sexual compulsion behavior requires a non-simple truth: the need to become comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. Once you have acknowledged you need sex addiction help, and made the decision to get help, you need to prepare yourself for a period of dealing with the withdrawal symptoms of sex addictions. Like any drug […]
One of the most common questions I get from the men I help with sex addiction recovery is: Can I masturbate during recovery? Will this set me back? How can I tell the difference between a “normal” act and an addictive one? To start, let’s review some working definitions on masturbation, addiction, and compulsion: Masturbation: […]
Each couple shares a sort of bank account, not an account built on currency, but rather one supported by trust. When the relationship is impacted by sex addictions or porn addictions, when one of the partners acts out sexually, that partner essentially bankrupts the account. They withdraw a large amount of trust that shakes the […]
Is porn addiction withdrawal a thing? Yes, as with any addiction, it is absolutely a real thing. And there are plenty of practical ways to work through this stage in your brain’s healing. Here’s how to get started. Realize that Porn Addiction Withdrawal is the First Step Toward Healing. Withdrawal symptoms can tell you two […]
Are there any benefits of quitting porn? If you’re struggling with porn addictions, you may be wondering if there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. When things get tough, you need to be reminded of what you’re ultimately fighting for. Here are 3 benefits of quitting porn that you may not have anticipated. […]
When working with my male clients who struggle with compulsive sexual behavior, one of the common denominators in the reasons they act out is being alone. Particularly if the behavior is pornography addiction where privacy represents one of the conditions for being able to peruse porn in the first place. A recent client on a […]
In the land of the strange but true, as a former Tibetan Buddhist nun I fell in love with and married a man who counsels sex addicts and who is a recovering sex addict himself. Joining him in his counseling practice has allowed me a look into the lives of many people who have struggled […]