Your Sex or Porn Addiction: How Bad Does It Have to Get Before You Get Help?

We try to avoid politics, and we’ll do that in today’s blog, but if you’ve turned on a TV or opened a browser window at all in the past week, you’ve surely heard a story about a certain high-profile suspected suicide case. There are pages and pages already out there about this individual, and we don’t need to rehash it here, but no matter where you jump into his story, we all know how it ends: a death in a jail cell.

I didn’t personally work with this person, but what happened to him got me thinking about the work I do with addicts. His story seemed to follow a familiar and sad pattern. Here’s a guy who could have changed the dark path he was walking on if he’d reached out for help sooner. Sure, this particular story grabbed headlines, but this same story is playing out on a smaller scale in homes all across the world right now.

The point is, this person didn’t reach out. Lots of guys don’t. They stay on their path, their actions get progressively darker, and in the end, it kills them.

But You Can’t Really Die from Sex Addictions, Right?

Sometimes a story like this one breaks and it’s huge. Sometimes we get the luxury of looking in and examining a story from many angles. But believe me, there are lots of “regular guys” out there who are also dying from their sex addictions. Guys who take too many pills or jump off a bridge and nobody ever knows why. Sometimes it’s because they were struggling with something that was literally killing them — and that thing won in the end.

The stress, guilt, shame, fear, and self-doubt that comes along with sex or porn addictions often lead people right into other harmful activities. Alcohol, drugs, overwork, extreme exercise, eating disorders; all things which can kill a person slowly, rather than all at once in a big dramatic display.

The question any addict must ask themselves is “How bad does it have to get?” How far down do you have to sink before you seek help? How much self-harm do you have to inflict before you admit you have a problem?

One way or another, an untreated addiction can and will kill you. It will continue taking more and more away from you until there’s nothing left.

What if You Could Direct this Energy Elsewhere?

Make no mistake; your sexual addictions are taking something away from you. Addicts put an incredible amount of money, energy, focus, and time towards their addiction.

Consider this: where is your energy going? Who is benefitting from all that energy? Is it you? Your family? Maybe a chat room, a porn site, or a massage parlor is taking up the bulk of your focus. Is that how you want to spend your time, or did you maybe have bigger plans for your life?

The story of sex addicts who die from their addiction is sad for many reasons, but one of the saddest parts is this: they had the power to ask themselves what else they wanted to do with their life. They didn’t have to hurt anybody. They could have sought help, changed, done better things with whatever power and influence they had.

You have that power too. You are not bound to live under the boot heel of an addiction for the rest of your life. Imagine what you could do with all the extra time, energy, focus, and even money you get back when you stop acting on your compulsions. Maybe you want extra time with your wife or partner, maybe you want love and intimacy, maybe you’re after a promotion at work, maybe you want to get in shape.

You can do these things by initiating a dialogue with the addict inside you. You can speak to him and tell him what you want in life. When you dialogue, you back control. It’s a process we’ve used at Neulia Compulsion Solutions to successfully help thousands of people break the cycle of sexual addictions.

It’s a process I’ve used myself.

If You’re Alive, It’s Not Too Late to Turn Your Life Around

I say this again and again in my practice: sex and porn addictions are progressive disorders. You might think “Well, at least I’m not that bad,” but it’s just a matter of time. What you can’t imagine yourself doing this week will become commonplace for you next month. Just like with substance addiction, you need more and more to chase the same high.

But that escalation can stop right now. Today. You can learn how to step back and observe your mind, rather than simply going along for the ride. You can change your mind for the better. You can get to the root of your sex addiction, address it, and begin to move beyond it.

If you’re alive, it’s not too late. There is life beyond your sex and porn addictions, but if you let it take control of you, you’re playing with fire. Your story can have a much better ending. All you have to do is reach out and ask for help.

I really wish every addict would do the same.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *