Porn addiction and sex addiction experts from Compulsion Solutions, answer your most pressing questions. We'll answer your question too... email Porn Doc.

 Dear Porn Doc,

The problem with my addiction occurs a lot at night. I have difficulty sleeping and when I wake up in the middle of the night (which is often), I tend to act out online. I just don’t seem to have a plan for that. Do you have any ideas?

Porn Doc: Acting out in this “sleep state” is common. Many of our clients explain that they wake up disoriented, horny, and unable to get back to sleep. Sometimes they attempt to have sex with their partner while she is still asleep, which is rarely or ever a good idea. What I suggest is to look at this problem from two angles:

1.  First look at what seems to interfere with your sleep cycle. Getting proper rest is a fundamental need for human beings and without it, we tend to break down in many ways. Look at your nighttime diet—are you eating close to bedtime? Are you drinking alcohol? Do you tend to go to bed with a lot of stressful thoughts? Are you taking long naps during the day? All of these are common deterrents to proper REM sleep. Please investigate this with your doctor.
2. Have a plan for when you do wake up. I suggest you do not turn on your computer or the TV or any other source used for acting out. Instead, create a peaceful ritual. Set aside a book next to your favorite chair. Have a hobby. Create a peaceful and quiet place to calm down and stay away from stimulants—visual and edible. Calming your distress and fear of waking up will help.

Dear Porn Doc,

My boyfriend is acting out with pornography on a regular basis and no matter how many times I catch him and threaten to leave him, he still goes back to it. I feel powerless and stuck. I do not know if I should give up or not.

Porn Doc: Unfortunately, if your boyfriend is indeed addicted to porn, only he can truly make the call to get help. He needs to want the get the help for himself and not merely to appease you. However, you have choices to make hear for yourself. You need to ask yourself as to why you are involved with this person? Do other parts of the relationship work? Is there strong intimacy and communication? What do you want out of this? Are you willing to walk away from this relationship if your needs aren’t met?

I suggest you read our blog on this topic, written by Faye Reitman, MFT. She addresses many of these considerations.