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“In my relationships with women, I’ve come to see them as friends and allies rather than conquests to be made.”
Intimacy and closeness with other people has always been a challenge for me. Friendships with other men have always been colored by my fear that I’m not masculine enough. I know now this isn’t true, but nonetheless it’s a message that’s deeply ingrained in my psyche. In relation to women, I pursued sex, thinking that was the only way to intimacy and closeness. Another falsehood, yet another ingrained pattern.
When I first started with Neulia Compulsion Solutions, I was in the grips of both of these lies. As I’ve gotten older, I began to feel that time was running out. I needed to figure out why my relationships didn’t last and why they didn’t seem to bring the satisfaction I’d always longed for. This led me to Neulia Compulsion Solutions. I began a long series of conversations with a sex addiction therapist. These conversations have greatly impacted my sense of self and where I fit in this world. It’s been a long journey, and I’m far from the end of it. Yet, I’ve learned so much. I’ve learned that my masculinity is something that I get to define; it’s not defined by my dad or the culture that I grew up in. While these factors still influence me, I know they do not represent the truth. The truth is simply that my masculinity is unique to me.
In my relationships with women, I’ve come to see them as friends and allies rather than conquests to be made. I’ve become willing to be tender and vulnerable with them, and this has led to more fulfillment and happiness in my life.
This is a lifetime journey, and although I’ve come a long way already, I look forward to a future where I find even greater courage to be who I am, to share myself, vulnerable though I may be, and to continue to grow closer to others.