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“My biggest challenge was confronting my mind, my thinking about the past, and making certain that I would change my thinking and behavior in the future.”
Five years ago, I enjoyed a successful career and was married to my wonderful wife, Betsy. However, I had serious sex addictions that manifested in online pornography use and massage parlors. I had no prior experience with any type of sex addiction therapy, but I knew I needed help. My life and my marriage was in serious jeopardy.
I started doing research on the subject of sex addiction recovery, and was thrilled to read George’s brilliant, plain-speaking book — Breaking the Circle. I immediately called Neulia Compulsion Solutions in California and George answered the phone. I live in New York, and I asked George if there were any professional sex addiction therapists that he could recommend in New York. He said, “I recommend that you come to Walnut Creek and work with me for 3–4 days.”
That was the best advice I ever received. I worked with George diligently for four days in California and learned things about myself and my family that I never knew or understood before. George taught me how to write dialogues that explored my early family life and I quickly discovered that the normal middle-class family that I thought I was raised in was far from normal. Among myself, my parents, and my siblings, we had zero intimacy. No kisses, no hugs, and zero words of affection. I never heard the words “I love you” growing up. This insight explained a lot about my attitude, particularly toward women. This lack of intimacy translated into a perverse attitude toward women and my lack of understanding of true intimacy. My lack of intimacy translated into a full-blown sex addiction that was out of control.
My discussions with George and the dialogue writing that he assigned provided me with the tools to combat my family history and aberrant sexual compulsion. Perhaps the most important thing that I learned was the simple phrase: “You are not your mind”. One’s mind lives in the past and thrives on what one has thought and done in the past. My biggest challenge was confronting my mind and my thinking about the past, and making certain that I would change my thinking and behavior in the future.
It has been a long process, but a successful one. George has given me the tools to take control of my life. Not only has George’s work helped me with my sex addiction recovery, but also my alcoholism.
Most importantly, my work with George has changed my life and saved my marriage. There will always be work to do, but I have an intimate and caring relationship with Betsy that I never could have imagined.