I feel understood.

“Neulia Compulsion Solutions helped me manage my shame and embarrassment so that I could be free from the hell I was living in.”

I was 15 years old when my brother and his friends took me to a massage parlor for the first time. My brother put his leather jacket on me and sprayed me with cologne. It was my first time paying for it, and I was forever changed. I had a cast on my hand from playing football, and the cologne that lingered on the cast was a constant reminder that I needed to get back to that place. I would drive the 30 minutes and pay the 100 dollars often as I could.

My brother also taught me how to cruise the streets and pick up prostitutes. You had to know what to say and where to keep your money. My brother introduced me to high-priced call girls. From there, I began to go to pornography shops. I then graduated to the adult movie theater.

The shame and guilt was a never-ending firestorm in my head. My way of avoiding the adult theaters was to call a line where I could have long conversations about the stories my mind had created. I would spend hours talking to the ladies on the phone about my fantasies of being dominated.

I felt bad because I was spending so much money on these calls, so I found something even better than prostitution or girls on the phone. I found mistresses to humiliate me and force me to surrender my masculinity for the right price. One mistress even made me go to a dressmaker to have a pink maid’s dress custom-made for me.

When I discovered chat rooms online, I began to play the role of the female because I learned I could get much more attention by being an attractive girl who needed to be humiliated. To feed my sex addictions I was able to impersonate a female voice on the phone and had an arsenal of pictures to “prove” who I was. I found some really twisted men who wanted to control and humiliate me.

I had chat rooms and my phony yahoo accounts running all day at my office. My behaviors were completely out of control before I finally called George for sex addiction help.

I will never forget the first time I spoke with George. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was understood. I could tell him my deepest secrets that I was going to take to the grave with me. George knew what was driving my sexual compulsive behavior. He helped me manage my shame and embarrassment so that I could be free from the hell I was living in.

I worked hard trying to understand that the only way I knew how to feel loved was if I were submitting to my mother and feeling her control and humiliation. Unfortunately, I had also married a woman just like my mother.

I called George in May of 2010, and today I am proud to say that I do not engage in any of these sexual compulsive behavior anymore. I do not look at porn. I do not go to chat rooms. No mistresses, prostitutes, call girls, massage parlors, adult bookstores, NOTHING! I’ve learned that these were all unhealthy coping strategies I used to ease the pain and suffering that I was living in. Unfortunately, my brother committed suicide when he was 30 years old and never had the opportunity to meet George. Now, I’m at peace with myself. I am doing okay and I do not have to be emasculated in order to feel loved. Love is not humiliation. Love is unconditional, and now I’m able to give this to my two beautiful daughters.

My business has flourished since I stopped spending my time in chat rooms. With that extra time, I became a yoga instructor and get great joy in teaching others how to access inner-peace. I am working on building healthy relationships with women where there is genuine unconditional love and acceptance.

I am forever grateful to George for my sex addiction recovery. He helped me see and separate fact from fiction.