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Naming your addict is important in helping you firmly establish that your addict self and your adult self are two different people. For more info on that check out our previous blog: Name Your Addict. Beginning to differentiate your true self from your addict voice leads directly into the second step towards your recovery. You have to begin a conversation with that addict voice. Otherwise it will keep running you around in ways that are difficult to get ahold of.
“Wait,” you might be thinking, “I'm supposed to talk to myself? Isn't that something crazy people do?” While it may be true that we don't consider this typical behavior, it is not “crazy” at all. In fact, the act of engaging your addict self in conversation is a bold step towards sanity.
Look at it this way: your addict talks to you all the time, doesn't he? He’s that voice inside your head urging you to look at porn, no matter when or where you are. He’s the one bargaining with you, promising you that it will only be a few minutes, or that it will just be this one time. He’s the one reassuring you that you can quit any time — and more to the point, he’s the one telling you to feel worthless, embarrassed or depressed.
This voice is already talking. This conversation has been there for a long time, waiting for you to jump in. So why not talk back?
Here are two examples to help you understand what these conversations might feel like at first:
Using the powerful tool of your imagination, visualize yourself in whatever situation feels right to you; and begin talking back to your addict. The most important thing to remember is that no matter how intimidating this voice seems, no matter how mean it had gotten in the past, you are the one who gets to call the shots. He is on your turf, and not the other way around.
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