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Dear Porn Doc,
I’ve been in and out of various treatments for my addiction to online pornography and prostitution. My 12-year-old son recently got in trouble for viewing online porn. His mother (we are separated) blames me and I feel tremendously guilty. Would it be harmful to open up to my son and tell him my issues? Some guidance here would be appreciated.
Porn Doc:
There are many layers to your question(s). I’ll start with your description of your attempts at recovery. I’d be curious about your starts and stops—are these because of relapses or not sticking with your recovery plan? Have you had periods of sobriety? You also mention that you are currently separated from your wife. Is this a direct result of your addiction? If you are not in either group or individual counseling, you should be and I do hope that you see this through as the problem does not go away on its own.
Turning now to your question regarding your son. You know from your own history that you likely started quite young in your addiction. The majority of my clients started acting out in this manner during adolescence so your son’s interest in porn at this stage in his life should be something you and your wife should be concerned about.
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