Recently, a documentary premiered on Netflix called Hot Girls Wanted.  While this is certainly not the first of its kind, it’s still an enlightening and eye-opening look at the realities of the porn industry. Most notably, it gives a behind-the-scenes look at what happens to the young women who choose to get involved in pornography as soon as they turn 18.

A film like this can be an important reminder to those in sex addiction recovery. No matter how strong the pull of porn might be, remember that the people you’re watching having sex are real live human beings. The young women featured in Hot Girls Wanted are, like you, negatively affected by porn just in a different, but no less damaging way.

Growing Up With Porn

With the easy access to porn on the web, young people today seem kind of lost. Depending on your age, it’s probably fair to assume that nobody you knew was talking about becoming a porn star when they grew up. In fact, if you take a quick mental poll of your high school classmates, that may seem like a ludicrous idea. However, it’s definitely happening now. It’s presented as a glamorous lifestyle to young women — all of whom are in for the rude awakening of a lifetime when they see how the industry really works.

If we are to believe this documentary, then it’s telling us that there has been a massive uptick in young women wanting to enter the porn industry in search of some sort of fame, recognition, or validation as a person. You’ve watched porn, whether you are in sex addiction recovery or not. You know what happens to these young women.

The Dark Side

What begins as meaningless sex with literally hundreds of strangers, somehow gets even darker the longer these women remain in the industry. They may be choked, tied up, physically hurt, abused — these activities don’t happen in a vacuum. They leave a lifelong impression on a person's mind, personality, and life. Why do people want to see a woman get hurt on camera? Is it because they were hurt by a woman? Would it not be healthier to address the underlying psychological trigger than to simply reinforce the idea that this sort of abuse is okay?

I’m not a Puritan. My message here isn’t to tell entertainers what they should or should not do with their own bodies. Rather, what I see when viewing documentaries like this is a systemic lack of respect and intimacy in porn's portrayal of sex.

Just as many men in sex addiction recovery are struggling with the importance of intimacy, young women are being made to believe that emotionless and meaningless sex is somehow good for them. Whether they are seeking fame, an escape from their family life, or a sense of control over their own bodies, they are being told that having sex on camera with strangers is the way to achieve it.

There are people on both sides of the camera. Real, living people who can and will experience repercussions for their behavior. The addict craves more porn, darker porn, more extreme porn, and the industry demands that young women step in to play these roles. It’s a vicious cycle.

Whether you’re consuming porn as an addict or participating in porn as an actor, a damaging idea is being presented and reinforced over and over again: sex means nothing, these people are no one, all of it is simply here for your use. The question then becomes — how many people are taking this attitude about sex to heart?

The Possibility of Intimacy

This seems one of the greatest challenges our young people are facing today. Nobody is teaching them the value of connected sex. Certainly, the online porn industry has a lot to do with this lack of understanding. Intimacy, "into me you see,” is a powerful concept. Powerful enough to hold marriages together for decades. Powerful enough to help troubled couples regain their footing, and forge ahead — together. This is one of the most basic, yet important concepts for people in sex addiction recovery to learn. Sex without intimacy is destructive. The far better option is for couples to let sex be a force creating intimacy. You can do that, with your beloved partner.

Learn more at Neulia Compulsion Solutions.