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While working to get free of porn or sex addictions, there often comes a time for a client when he suddenly begins to surmise that he has found an easier, simpler, faster way to get rid of his addiction. He thinks he’s found a MIRACLE CURE.
Usually the appearance of the possibility of the “miracle cure” arises when some kind of resistance is coming up when sex addiction therapy is getting to the core of some fundamental misperception. The possibility of this “miracle cure” is really just sabotage at play. It’s of course easier for me to see that for my client because I’m looking in from the outside — and I’ve seen this resistance tactic at work in my own mind over and over again. So I know that if it’s happening to you, it can be hard to see it. So let me give you a couple of examples.
* One of my clients “miraculously” met a Shaman who promised him that with very little effort he could cure him of all his ills. My client told me that he “knew right away” that this guy had shown up to save him. This client was facing one of the hardest but most important aspects changing of his addictive mind patterns.
* Another client (who lives overseas and works with me by phone) called to tell me his father had met a psychiatrist, a woman, who would see him locally and would be able to, in short order, cure him of all his psychological ills. This woman unfortunately had no experience working with sex or porn addictions. Still, this client was tempted by what he hoped would be an “easier” way.
I let both of these guys know that the hope for a “miracle” is normal and to be expected. In fact, it’s a confirming sign. It’s a sign that the addictive mind is afraid it’s going to die…. so it’s grasping for a way out. The addictive mind is not really going to die, but it is going to be transmuted. In actuality, there is no loss. And what is gained is a joy and serenity that the addictive sub-personality can’t tolerate. It needs trouble, discord, dissatisfaction.
If you are in the midst of going down the path of your sex addiction recovery and suddenly you see a different path that promises to be easier or miraculous, pay attention. Your addict sub-personality may start to have doubts that the process is working. You may hear yourself thinking, this is not going work, I’m just spending a lot of money on nothing. I want a miracle.
Recognize the distraction and just get back to your work. I advise my sex addiction therapy clients to continue the practice of dialoguing with their addict. (For more info on the dialoguing process check out “Breaking The Cycle: Free Yourself From Sex Addiction, Porn Obsession, and Shame.”)
Be prepared. You too may be challenged by what I have dubbed the “Phantom Miracle Cure.” Luckily the two guys I mentioned above were able to see through the tricks of their addicts mind and are now experiencing the true miracle that comes from staying the course and just doing the next right thing — again and again and again. This brings the true “Miracle Cure.”
Contact Neulia Compulsion Solutions today to learn more about our sex addiction therapy services.
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