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In its basic and natural form (if there has not been physical or emotional damage along the way) human sexual contact feels good, touching feels good, having an orgasm feels good. This is normal and wonderful. Your innate desire for sex and sexual pleasure is not an enemy.
Your natural sexual impulse can guide you to finding closeness, connectedness, and intimacy with a partner. However, when sexual compulsion gets misdirected, they can become addictive or compulsive, and instead of leading to pleasure and connection, your natural sex drive can lead to suffering.
To determine if you might need sex addiction recovery, ask yourself these questions:
If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, it is possible that you may need sex addiction help. At the very least, you can assume that sexual compulsion is creating problems for you in your life or with your relationship. Look at it this way, if your sexual expression is self-defeating, then you have a problem. If your sex addictions are getting in the way of the intimacy you desire, then you have a problem.
When you are caught by sexual compulsion, the pleasure that is inherently present in orgasm or connection with another gets co-opted and is used as a balm, an escape, a distraction, rather than being enjoyed for what it does offer. The problem with soothing yourself with sexual compulsive behavior is that the soothing is momentary. You may feel ashamed, too, because you are probably aware that your behavior is out of your control. You can't get enough of what won't satisfy you. An internal war is going on. Your life is not working.
More and more women are feeling like they are out of control around their sexual expression. If you suspect this might be you, ask yourself:
Just because you like to masturbate or have sex doesn’t mean that you need sex addiction help or that you have a problem. However, if your sex life is keeping you from the connection you want to have, if you feel out of control in your sexual expression, then it may be time to reach out for some help. To understand how sex addictions have become a problem, it helps to understand the impulses and motivations that are driving your behavior. Gaining understanding about these influences, it is possible to work with the urges and impulses as they arise. With help and support, you can find a way to the natural pleasure and connection that your sexuality offers.
If you still are wondering, take our online quiz.
Find sex addiction help at Neulia Compulsion Solutions. We'd be happy to talk with you. Call us at 925-932-0201
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