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Addiction can kill. Anyone who has ever watched a family member or friend succumbs to alcoholism, or overdose on drugs can tell you that. Yet, when talking about porn addiction, many people see it as less serious and less deadly. Certainly, there is more inherent risk in sharing needles than there is in opening a porn website in the privacy of your own home, but don't underestimate the lengths an addict — any addict — may go to.
Just this week, there was a story out of Atlanta where a man was watching porn while driving and was killed in the ensuing accident. He was ejected out of his car, in fact. We can only speculate that the reason he wasn't wearing a seat belt was for easier “access.” This is a fair assumption because the man also wasn’t wearing pants when he was thrown from the vehicle. Luckily nobody else was killed.
Now, it isn't fair for me to diagnose this man as a porn addict, having never met him personally, but I have met many men who have put themselves into remarkably dangerous situations while in the grip of their addiction.
The man in this news story was watching porn in what you may consider an unorthodox location — that being the driver's seat of a car traveling along the highway. Yet, I myself was also engaging in some very risky behavior before I sought treatment for my own porn addiction. There was one particular moment where I considered smashing the window of a closed and locked video rental store just so I could get access to more porn. In my book, Breaking the Cycle, I also talk about a situation where I became fixated on a woman driving a car in front of me, and engaged in some irresponsible driving in order to pursue her more closely (and continue my fantasy).
I have worked with clients who have been escorted out of their offices by security after getting caught using porn at work, right in the middle of the day. I have also talked to some men who have used porn in bed, right next to their sleeping wives. And let's not forget the seedy and sometimes dangerous adult theaters that some men use to feed their addictions in secret.
What would happen to you if it were discovered that you are a porn addict? For some men it might mean the end of their relationship or marriage. For others, it might compromise their career or position in the community. These are weighty consequences, and an addict's initial reaction may be to attempt to hide from them.
But you cannot hide forever. As your addiction worsens, so will your desperation. You will engage in riskier behavior and go to greater lengths in pursuit of more porn and more sexual fantasy. Eventually, the curtain will come down, and your addiction will be exposed. Hopefully, unlike the unfortunate man in the story, you will still be alive to do something about it.
There is a way out of your addiction. You are not doomed to seek out dark corners or sneak around forever. By acknowledging that you have a problem, you can begin to seek out effective and meaningful treatment that can turn your life around.
Sadly, the population at large may have gotten a giggle or two out of the news story mentioned above, but hopefully a porn addict, recognizing his own behavior, might have just gotten a wake-up call. I hope you listen to that wake-up call, and I hope you reach out to someone for help.
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