Partners of Sex Addicts Archives - Page 2 of 3

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Acknowledging His Suffering Isn't the Same As Letting Him Off the Hook

When working with the heartbroken partners of sex addicts and porn addicts, at a certain point, they tend to come to the realization that their partner is suffering too. It's not at all uncommon (or unhealthy) for their first thought to be “Well, good!” I work with women whose worlds have been rocked by the […]

When His Therapy Feels Like It's Re-Victimizing You

The partners of sex addicts and porn addicts do not always have an easy road ahead of them. Often, an unevenness can begin to develop almost immediately where "his progress," "his work," or "his addiction," can begin to take precedence over your own recovery. This is especially true if the partners of sex addicts have […]

Coping With Your First Holiday Alone

Despite everyone's best efforts, it is a hard fact of life that some relationships simply can't survive a sex or porn addiction. Even after second chances, extensive counseling and a real commitment to making it work, sometimes one partner's addiction is simply too much for the relationship to bear – and it ends. Very […]

Standing on the Precipice – Ending a Relationship During the Holidays

It's a hard fact of relationship counseling that the ideal outcome isn't always “and they lived happily ever after.” Unfortunately, this can be especially true if sex or porn addiction is a factor when the addicted partner is not able to make the necessary changes. Sometimes, the best thing for partners of sex addicts to […]

How Dealing With a Partner's Addiction Changes You

We talk a lot about the healing process that women undergo in order to cope with their partner's addiction. However, there's one thing I haven't mentioned yet, and that's the fact that this journey you're on will change you. There is so much to process and take in, so many feelings and questions to parse […]

Learning to Value Yourself Despite a Partner's Sex Addiction

My first task in working with the partners of sex addicts is to address three major emotions they are grappling with: shock, blame, and hurt. Each of these emotions has the ability to shake you to your foundations, and we must work through them early on in the healing process. A betrayal tears apart everything […]

Integrity: Your Work Isn't Done Yet

This is the third and final part of my series on resilience. I've taken you through the steps of incorporating self-care into your life, and also reminded you of the emotional tools you already have in your toolbox. Part One: Caring For Yourself When You Love An Addict Part Two: Power Regained: Working Your Way […]

Power Regained — Working Your Way Through Your Partner's Betrayal

This is the second blog in a series on resilience. In the first installment, I spoke about the importance of self-care and why it's such a difficult concept for many partners of sex addicts to comprehend. What I'd like to talk about now is what happens after you learn to prioritize your own needs. How […]

Caring For Yourself When You Love An Addict

This is the first in a series of blog posts on resilience. As a therapist, I see resilience as the hallmark of mental health. The journey towards resilience is at the heart of my practice. Resilience is the quality that is developed and honed in the face of stress. The truth is none of us […]

Realistic Self Care When Dealing With A Partner's Porn/Sex Addiction

There's a prevalent idea out there about what self-care looks like, but it's not realistic. Here's why self-care is at the center of relationship counseling. Have you ever found yourself standing in the middle of an especially stressful day, wondering when was the last time you did anything for you? The concept of self-care is […]

Coping With The Holiday Blues — You're Worth More Than “Any Port In A Storm”

The holidays have an insidious way of bringing up unhappiness for people. It seems like every commercial, every ad, and every song on the radio is reminding you that you're not in a picture-perfect relationship right now. If your marriage recently ended, then nobody will be surprising you with diamonds under the tree. If you […]

Afraid Your Partner Is Cheating On You? A New Website Sure Hopes You Are...

In the wake of the Ashley Madison hack, it seems like the act of spying on your partner's online activities has become a national pastime. That idea is certainly supported by the release of a new online search engine called “Instant Checkmate.” This service claims to have the ability to search not only secret online […]

After Your Partner's Disclosure — Navigating Your Emotions

Disclosure, the process in which your sexually addicted partner lists out every way they abused the trust of the relationship, is an incredibly emotional process. In and amongst all the hurt, betrayal, and even numbness you may be feeling after hearing your partner's disclosure, there lurks another, wholly unexpected emotion: a strange sense of power. […]

Disclosure From Your Sex Addict Partner: The Hairy Beast of Relationship Recovery

When a relationship is shattered by infidelity on the part of a sex addict, both partners are left picking up the pieces of their lives. This is something done individually at first. Your partner needs to work through his issues with his own therapist, while you work through your feelings with yours. At a certain […]

Codependence: What It Looks Like, And Why It's Dangerous

On the surface, the word “codependence” seems like it might mean something pleasant, or at least benign — like two people depending on each other. However, if that's its meaning, then why are so many women's magazines featuring it in dire headlines, or offering you dozens of quizzes to discover if you might be in […]

Anatomy Of A One-Night Stand: Questions & Consequences

Does the fact that my partner had a one-night stand mean he's a sex addict? As counselors specializing in sexually compulsive behaviors, this is a question we're often asked. In the Back of a Minivan A blog I read recently addressed the issue of the aftermath of a one-night stand. A reader wrote to author […]

Surviving Your Partner’s Disclosure — Help For Partners of Porn Addiction and Sex Addiction

Is it time for disclosure? How much do you need to know about the specifics of your partner’s sexual acting out? How much do you want to know? You know his disclosure will be painful and confusing and yet you wonder what exactly has he been doing and with whom. You really want to know […]

Helping a Spouse Who Suffers from Porn Addiction

Porn addiction can cause major problems in your spouse’s life. These problems can range from problems focusing on real world events, to failure to perform in the bedroom. Are there other signs? And if you do think your spouse is suffering from porn addiction, what can you do to help? In this article we’ll take […]

It Can Be Hard To Talk About Sex Addiction

If you suspect sex addiction is an issue in your relationship, it might be hard to even ask someone about it, if you don't feel you can you openly discuss S-E-X. Sex continues to be the news in some surprising and shocking ways. And now it’s being characterized as being potentially addictive. From the reported […]

Valentine's Day & Coming To Terms With Your Partner's Porn Or Sex Addiction

Valentine's day can be the day that you finally face the truth of your partner's porn addiction or sex addiction.

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