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Yes, Female Porn Addicts Exist (And They May Have it Worse Than Male Addicts)

Addiction to porn is often considered something that only affects men. This thinking could be the result of several different scenarios. Perhaps it's society's fault for continually reinforcing the idea that women are meant to be sexualized, but not sexual. Or perhaps the media tends to assign addictions to the genders — sex for men, […]

After Your Partner's Disclosure — Navigating Your Emotions

Disclosure, the process in which your sexually addicted partner lists out every way they abused the trust of the relationship, is an incredibly emotional process. In and amongst all the hurt, betrayal, and even numbness you may be feeling after hearing your partner's disclosure, there lurks another, wholly unexpected emotion: a strange sense of power. […]

Disclosure From Your Sex Addict Partner: The Hairy Beast of Relationship Recovery

When a relationship is shattered by infidelity on the part of a sex addict, both partners are left picking up the pieces of their lives. This is something done individually at first. Your partner needs to work through his issues with his own therapist, while you work through your feelings with yours. At a certain […]

Codependence: What It Looks Like, And Why It's Dangerous

On the surface, the word “codependence” seems like it might mean something pleasant, or at least benign — like two people depending on each other. However, if that's its meaning, then why are so many women's magazines featuring it in dire headlines, or offering you dozens of quizzes to discover if you might be in […]

Love Addiction: Signs, Symptoms, and Why It Isn't About Love

What Is Love Addiction? Love addiction, similar to sex addiction, is a coping behavior for the pain of one’s unresolved wounds. A woman may be a love addict because she's missing something she needed to receive in her early life to create a healthy core belief. As a counselor primarily of women, I encounter a […]

Surviving Your Partner’s Disclosure — Help For Partners of Porn Addiction and Sex Addiction

Is it time for disclosure? How much do you need to know about the specifics of your partner’s sexual acting out? How much do you want to know? You know his disclosure will be painful and confusing and yet you wonder what exactly has he been doing and with whom. You really want to know […]

Valentine's Day & Coming To Terms With Your Partner's Porn Or Sex Addiction

Valentine's day can be the day that you finally face the truth of your partner's porn addiction or sex addiction.

Can You Rebuild Your Relationship If Your Partner Is A Sex Addict?

Many partners of sex addicts have asked me “Was our entire life a lie?” or “Why have I stayed in this relationship as long as I have?” I believe that a crucial part of recovery and self-growth is understanding what you are working toward. Feeling some sense of positivity is crucial for your own survival […]

Let's Look At The Issue Of Betrayal

“A Friend Stabs You In The Front” Oscar Wilde In reflecting on this view of betrayal from Oscar Wilde, I am struck by the very nature of betrayal — disloyalty that catches you unaware and stabs you in the back. This is the betrayal that can only be done by a trusted person; someone that you […]

When Devastation Becomes Transformation—From the Wife of a Sex Addict

When I first discovered that my husband of 12 years was a sex addict it was a shock. I was devastated as I tried to emotionally digest what I was learning about my husband’s secret life. As I learned more, I began to see how my husband was willing to admit that he had a […]

No More Sex In The City for My Sex Addict Hubby

I've been married for several years and thought my husband had lost his libido just from getting older. After all, he was 48 year old when we got married. Before the wedding we had sex regularly, but afterwards it almost disappeared. Even when we first were together he was never all that sexually assertive, so […]

Living With Someone Who Does Not Seem Interested In YOU?

I have a few hard questions for you to think about: Are you in a relationship that is not healthy for you? Are you scared of intimacy or of being alone? (Maybe you’re scared of both.) Do you believe that deep down you are really a terribly flawed human being who doesn’t deserve to be […]

Pedophile Proponents - A Dangerously Delusional Belief System

As a therapist for many years, I’ve worked with men and women who were sexually molested as children, as well as with the wives of men who were addicted to various types of porn. Consequently, on reading an article advocating the decriminalization of pedophilia I felt physically sick to my stomach. (You can Google articles […]

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