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What Tiger Woods Can Show Us About Sex Addiction: It Begins in Childhood

His scandal was tabloid fodder — but the roots ran back to childhood. What Tiger Woods' very public fall reveals about how sex addiction really starts. Tiger Woods' sex-addiction scandal made headlines worldwide — but the real story starts decades earlier, in childhood. Even though I don't regularly follow golf, this caught my attention, because […]

Sex Or Porn Detox: 4 Steps

A porn "detox" isn't just willpower — it's a process. Here are the 4 steps to break the cycle and make it actually stick. If you struggle with sexual compulsion behavior, have you tried "detoxing" from porn and/or sex? Detoxes seem to be all the rage. People are removing certain types of foods from their […]

Dealing with Withdrawal Symptoms of Sex Addiction

Attempting to stop your sexual compulsion behavior requires a non-simple truth: the need to become comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. Once you have acknowledged you need sex addiction help, and made the decision to get help, you need to prepare yourself for a period of dealing with the withdrawal symptoms of sex addictions. Like any drug […]

Can I Masturbate During Recovery?

One of recovery's most-asked questions — and the answer isn't a flat yes or no. Here's how to tell healthy from addictive. One of the most common questions I get from the men I help with sex addiction recovery is: Can I masturbate during recovery? Will this set me back? How can I tell the […]

3 Ways To Rebuild Trust In A Relationship Damaged By Sex Addiction

Each couple shares a sort of bank account, not an account built on currency, but rather one supported by trust. When the relationship is impacted by sex addictions or porn addictions, when one of the partners acts out sexually, that partner essentially bankrupts the account. They withdraw a large amount of trust that shakes the […]

Porn Withdrawal Symptoms: What to Expect

Is porn addiction withdrawal a thing? Yes, as with any addiction, it is absolutely a real thing. And there are plenty of practical ways to work through this stage in your brain’s healing. Here’s how to get started. What Porn Withdrawal Symptoms Feel Like There is no single version of this. Just as no two […]

3 Unexpected Benefits of Quitting Porn

Quitting porn can reset your brain's reward system, bring back real attraction, and sharpen your focus — often within weeks. Here's what actually changes. The 3 biggest benefits of quitting porn: Your brain's reward system starts to heal Real attraction and intimacy come back More focus, energy, and confidence Are there any benefits of quitting […]

Alone vs. Lonely

When working with my male clients who struggle with compulsive sexual behavior, one of the common denominators in the reasons they act out is being alone. Particularly if the behavior is pornography addiction where privacy represents one of the conditions for being able to peruse porn in the first place. A recent client on a […]

Sex & Love Addiction from a Buddhist Perspective

In the land of the strange but true, as a former Tibetan Buddhist nun I fell in love with and married a man who counsels sex addicts and who is a recovering sex addict himself. Joining him in his counseling practice has allowed me a look into the lives of many people who have struggled […]

Porn Addiction Is A Progressive Disorder (But You Can Stop Before It's Too Late)

Recently, there was some truly troubling news out of New Jersey. A man was arrested and charged with two counts of Endangering the Welfare of a Child after it was discovered that content from his live-streaming porn service involved children. To put that in plain English, the guy was putting 14-year-olds in webcam shows, and […]

Addict is Fake News

Fake news—or a hoax—is making, well, news, a lot these days and has become a buzzword representing misrepresentation and falsehoods. Fake news is written and published with the intent to mislead in order to gain financially or politically, often with sensationalist, exaggerated, or patently false headlines that grab attention. If you are someone who seeks […]

Dating Apps: Helping Relationships or Normalizing Sex Addiction?

It can be difficult to meet people sometimes. Our multitasking culture demands more of our time than ever before, and that means longer workdays, less vacation, and far fewer opportunities to bump into “the one.” So, in this regard dating apps seem inevitable. If we can't be out in the real world looking for relationships, […]

Porn Guilt — The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Guilt about your porn addiction, your acting out sexually, is the gift that keeps on giving and giving and giving — until you’re in the emotional gutter and your self-esteem is toast. Guilt. You feel "less than." Guilt. You isolate. You forget about your friends. You are sure that they must be better off than […]

Abuse In The Porn Industry Can Cause Troubling Behavior In Addicts

Allegations of sexual assault against male porn star “James Deen” have surfaced recently, after a number of female actresses have come forward with stories of being brutalized. After reading the stories these women told, I was wondering how on earth such brutality could ever be okay. If you hit a woman with a closed fist, […]

How To Tell If You're Addicted To Sex

In its basic and natural form (if there has not been physical or emotional damage along the way) human sexual contact feels good, touching feels good, having an orgasm feels good. This is normal and wonderful. Your innate desire for sex and sexual pleasure is not an enemy. Your natural sexual impulse can guide you […]

Depression and Sex Addiction

The old adage: What came first, the chicken or the egg? When it comes to the symbiotic relationship between sex addictions and depression, it is often difficult to determine which caused which. When working with people who struggle with compulsive sexual behavior, depression often rides just beneath the surface. One acts out sexually to avoid […]

First Thought Wrong

In the process of your sex addiction recovery, you might begin to notice a strange phenomenon. You want to do better, you want to recover and get well, but someone keeps telling you that you can't do it. It's not a friend, or brother, or your partner, or your boss — it's you. Learn more […]

“I’m Frustrated Because My Wife Won’t Initiate Sex” – Sound Familiar?

Working with men who are grappling with sex and porn addictions, I often hear a complaint come up in our counseling sessions: my wife won’t initiate sex and that’s frustrating to me. This is something that a lot of guys deal with. It’s almost viewed as a type of rejection. You yourself express appreciation for […]

Sex Addiction: Let’s Break the Stigma

When you break your arm, you go to the hospital and get it treated. There is no shame or hesitation involved. You experience the injury/pain and go to get it treated accordingly; no one blinks an eye. When it comes to psychological disorders, however, the story is entirely different. When you have depression, anxiety, sex […]

Disclosing Your Sexual History

One of the most challenging (and daunting!) tasks in sex addiction recovery is disclosing your sexual history to your partner. Since most of it may be attributed to a progressive addiction, what you put down reveals much more than just the content. You’re vulnerable, transparent, and wide open for criticism. So why even do it? […]

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