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"But can I still go to a strip club?" What’s OK and what’s not OK during recovery.
"But can I still go to a strip club?" What’s OK and what’s not OK during recovery.
For most people, entering into sex or porn addiction recovery is a huge step into unknown territory. How do you navigate the “new normal” of being a healthy person with healthy boundaries? It’s not easy, but you’re not alone. Here’s a quick and dirty guide to keeping yourself on the right track during recovery.
Nope, you can’t go to a strip club.
“But I’m just looking! No touching, I swear!”
Nah. Sorry.
A strip club is like a molotov cocktail just waiting to blow up your recovery process. You need to be diligent in avoiding any environment that could potentially derail your goals. Strip clubs aren’t healthy for anyone, let alone someone in sex addiction recovery.
Make your smartphone a “dumb phone”.
- Delete any tempting apps. (You don’t need SnapChat or Tinder. Just, no.)
- Get off of social media.
- Get rid of data and turn your WiFi off.
- If needed, get a new phone number and clear your old contacts list.
Text your spouse and closest friends and make phone calls. That’s all you need.
Chuck your porn.
- If you own physical media, burn it in the backyard. No really. Make a fire and burn that garbage to the ground!
- Clear your hard drive.
- Install serious accountability software onto your computer.
Porn has no healthy place in an addict’s recovery.
No, you can’t still talk to “that person”.
That person who just popped into your mind? Yeah. That person. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you can dial back an unhealthy connection to “casual friend” territory. Whoever that person is for you, shut it down. Delete them from your contacts. No texting. No chatting. No lunches. Just no. A clean break is the only option.
Don’t keep secrets.
If you have a spouse or partner, institute a policy of radical honesty with them. Tell that person absolutely everything. Maintain accountability with them throughout your day. Don’t keep any secrets, no matter how small or seemingly mundane. Radical honesty fosters and helps to rebuild trust, one tiny step forward at a time.
Focus on what you can do.
Addiction recovery can feel like a long list of “don’ts.” But you can:
- Work out
- Foster intimacy with your spouse
- Eat the foods you crave
- Read great books
- Binge-watch your favorite shows (as long as they don’t foster your bad habits)
- Spend time outside
- Surround yourself with positive people
Focusing on what you can do can make the process easier and less stressful as you achieve your goals.
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2023 fall still no change
Im still not healed its summer 2022,no motavation for anything ,tried muilple supplemnts,tms therpy ,wellbutrin etc.Having focus issues ,fatigued,on disabilty,no job,im 50,look way younger,love to lose weigh twenty pounds,i am tall though ,why is everyone saying its only a young person issue,miss my xgf ,girl ive know since childhood.Prayers for healing and better life,health much appreciated thanks ,a job gf someone to share my life with,ive lost motavation for anything in life,i used to be this fun loving outgoing guy,but now i rarly leave my house,i used to like karaoke,going to Wisconsin dells waterpark,fishing,horseback riding,just spending time with friends,etc,i dont feel worthy of anything or being around people,especially couples ,my back hurts constant pain ,headaches,brain fog ,destized junk aka death grip,even purchased prostate supplemnts to hopefully get the bhp bc to much can screw up prostate area ,most are cluless on the science and bev.Prac.Or dr.Put me on crap i refuse to put in my system,like abilfy,haderol which actually is a antipscotic which makes things worse ,mood stabilzer for moodiness,i refuse big pharma now bc of side effects ,other then wellbutrin bc they have less side effects._.A million ssri meds but apparently nothing for dopamine at least not here ,i even tried ldopa supplemnts i did tms therpy twice nero star and deep tms therpy for depression hoping to get nerotransmites firing in the nucleus and pre fron.Cortex ,people are turning to tms bc of no side Effect,apparently helps with nero and parkensens which kills d2 rec.Wanna go on a trip next yr visit friend in north carolina ,this sucks my brain and body wont reboot,wasted hundreds on supplemnts everything from ,ucuna and ltyrosine to brain juice ,dopamax you name it .Seriously starting to understand sucide,on a side note robin williams had a porn addction ,kinda makes u wonder ,he talked about it in 2011 on some talk show in the uk ,on his Wikipedia page he said he wanted to reboot his brain .From what,even tried modafnil,sams e ,catbuta,cabergoline which made me vomit ,gave the science to urolgyst been to bev drs,nurse prac.Therapist,but not to people trained in sex addction ,i Couldn't imagine having dementia etc,memory imparment ,forget it was mothers day one yr.Our neighbor had to remind me ,i think that was in 2014 ,same yr i got fired bc of this ,nervous breakdown on manager ,nervous breakdown on my mom in 2016 sent me to hospital ,i heard some guys or girls never fully heal.Hopless in Wisconsin.Prayers to be free from this crap,2022 still no mornin erections,still urinating every two minutes etc.Just turned 50,and i know its notnlow t bc u dont flatlne from low t ,lost interst even in watching football ,this sux
Todd, Send for the free sample of my book, "Breaking the Cycle" and this could all be just a bad memory. Really.