CONTACT US NOW | (925) 932-0201

When The Person Saying “I Told You So,” Is You

This is a message to the woman who got involved with someone she thought she could change. Maybe you met him while he was still involved in another relationship. Perhaps he was a drinker, a gambler, a sex addict, or an abuser. Maybe you knew someone else who was involved with him in the past […]
Read More

Self Forgiveness Means Accepting Our Own Humanity

To much of the outside world, a relationship that falls apart due to sex or porn addictions has a very clear bad guy. Everything that happened was due to the destructive behavior on the part of the addict, while partners of sex addicts are totally innocent. Seems pretty obvious, right? Unless you're looking at the […]
Read More

Walking On The Edge

When working with my clients in sex addiction recovery, the most common feedback I receive concerns their behavior that just teeters back and forth around their addiction. I refer to this as “edging.” Perhaps they are not looking directly at online pornography or not quite yet acting out sexually with another person…but, they are dangerously […]
Read More

Acknowledging His Suffering Isn't the Same As Letting Him Off the Hook

When working with the heartbroken partners of sex addicts and porn addicts, at a certain point, they tend to come to the realization that their partner is suffering too. It's not at all uncommon (or unhealthy) for their first thought to be “Well, good!” I work with women whose worlds have been rocked by the […]
Read More

Sex and Intimacy: Are They the Same?

A recently published article opined that the reason fewer and fewer men are interested in marriage or long-term relationships is that they have easy access to sex through text messages, dating apps, and streaming internet porn. In other words, they don't have to try to win affection by making themselves presentable or by having a […]
Read More

When His Therapy Feels Like It's Re-Victimizing You

The partners of sex addicts and porn addicts do not always have an easy road ahead of them. Often, an unevenness can begin to develop almost immediately where "his progress," "his work," or "his addiction," can begin to take precedence over your own recovery. This is especially true if the partners of sex addicts have […]
Read More

Setting Up Your Wellness Practice

People who struggle with compulsive sexual behavior (or any addiction for that matter) who are looking to break free from their addictions must realize that sex addiction recovery involves more than just quitting the behavior. They must realize that many times sex and porn are symptoms of a larger problem and that maintaining sobriety is […]
Read More

Intentions versus Resolutions

The New Year brings feelings of change. At the start of the year it’s common to set resolutions. It’s a healthy practice to take stock of our lives and consider habits we’d like to change or ways we’d like to grow. Perhaps you want to lose weight, develop new hobbies, or change professional careers...the list […]
Read More

Which Emotion Will You Nurture?

There is a well-known tale about an elder who was teaching his grandson about life. It speaks to the need to demonstrate characteristics of peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, compassion, and faith. In short, if you nurture these emotions rather than negative emotions, such as jealousy, hate, and greed, you live a much nicer life. […]
Read More

“But What if My Addiction is Illegal?” Seeking Help, Even When You're Afraid

The other day, I came across an anonymous interview online with a man who admitted to being addicted to child pornography. As anyone could probably guess it was a tough read, but still a very important one – because one of the main points he raised was just how hard it was for him to […]
Read More

Coping With Your First Holiday Alone

  Despite everyone's best efforts, it is a hard fact of life that some relationships simply can't survive a sex or porn addiction. Even after second chances, extensive counseling and a real commitment to making it work, sometimes one partner's addiction is simply too much for the relationship to bear – and it ends. Very […]
Read More

The Sex Addiction Debate: Yes, It's Real

I think there is a fundamental misunderstanding when it comes to sex addictions and porn addictions. Yes, drugs and alcohol are highly addictive substances. They ruin lives and drive people to terrible depths in search of their next fix – but so does sex. To a certain extent, sex may be an even harder habit […]
Read More

Standing on the Precipice – Ending a Relationship During the Holidays

It's a hard fact of relationship counseling that the ideal outcome isn't always “and they lived happily ever after.” Unfortunately, this can be especially true if sex or porn addiction is a factor when the addicted partner is not able to make the necessary changes. Sometimes, the best thing for partners of sex addicts to […]
Read More

Celebrity Addiction Rehab: Not The Only Way To Do It

You may have read some news stories about celebrities checking into exclusive rehab centers to work on their sex addiction recovery or porn addictions.  Certainly, this is fine. I’m sure that despite the media's focus on things like horseback riding and croquet at some of these exclusive treatment centers, there actually is a lot of […]
Read More

Feelings Are NOT Facts

We often talk to our clients in sex addiction recovery about investigating the feelings underneath the sexual acting out behavior. Something must be driving the need to act out, right? Often these are called triggers — thoughts, feelings, and situations that push us to seek out an escape via compulsive sexual behavior. We come to […]
Read More

How Dealing With a Partner's Addiction Changes You

We talk a lot about the healing process that women undergo in order to cope with their partner's addiction. However, there's one thing I haven't mentioned yet, and that's the fact that this journey you're on will change you. There is so much to process and take in, so many feelings and questions to parse […]
Read More

Your Problem Is An Opportunity

Your failure is a chance to conquer something in your life by better understanding you mind and how your life works. This will alter everything about your life.
Read More

The Blonde and the Beemer

I was driving in California and I noticed a Blonde in a BMW.... listen.
Read More

What to do when your addict won't stop? Talk to him...

Your addict self is POWERFUL, and is feeding on your life's struggles. Here's what you do when you feel out of control.
Read More

Be a CSI with your Addict

As a Compulsion Solutions Investigator (CSI), imagine you are in an abandoned warehouse... check this out
Read More
1 5 6 7 8 9 17
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram