Dustin Bethel, Author at Neulia, by Compulsion Solutions

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Dealing with Withdrawal Symptoms of Sex Addiction

Attempting to stop your sexual compulsion behavior requires a non-simple truth: the need to become comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. Once you have acknowledged you need sex addiction help, and made the decision to get help, you need to prepare yourself for a period of dealing with the withdrawal symptoms of sex addictions. Like any drug […]

Can I Masturbate During Recovery?

One of the most common questions I get from the men I help with sex addiction recovery is: Can I masturbate during recovery? Will this set me back? How can I tell the difference between a “normal” act and an addictive one? To start, let’s review some working definitions on masturbation, addiction, and compulsion: Masturbation: […]

COVID-19 Is Affecting Addiction To Porn

The devastating Coronavirus, COVID-19, has affected almost every single person in our country in one way in another. It has spread to more than 150,000 people at the time of writing this blog, has severely impacted our economy, and has forced many people to work from home or not work at all. But there is […]

“I’m Frustrated Because My Wife Won’t Initiate Sex” – Sound Familiar?

Working with men who are grappling with sex and porn addictions, I often hear a complaint come up in our counseling sessions: my wife won’t initiate sex and that’s frustrating to me. This is something that a lot of guys deal with. It’s almost viewed as a type of rejection. You yourself express appreciation for […]

Sex Addiction: Let’s Break the Stigma

When you break your arm, you go to the hospital and get it treated. There is no shame or hesitation involved. You experience the injury/pain and go to get it treated accordingly; no one blinks an eye. When it comes to psychological disorders, however, the story is entirely different. When you have depression, anxiety, sex […]

Disclosing Your Sexual History

One of the most challenging (and daunting!) tasks in sex addiction recovery is disclosing your sexual history to your partner. Since most of it may be attributed to a progressive addiction, what you put down reveals much more than just the content. You’re vulnerable, transparent, and wide open for criticism. So why even do it? […]

How “Believing Your Own Press” Can Get You in Trouble With Addiction

Recently, a story broke about a YouTube star in his 20s named Austin Jones who’s being sent to jail for 10 years. Why? Because he requested sexually explicit videos of underage girls. He did this numerous times, and the content of these videos as described in the press is terrible. It's easy enough to look […]

Choosing Connection Over Performance

Men, young and old, who are porn addicts, often experience erectile dysfunction (ED) and related sexual performance anxiety. Although research on porn-induced ED is mixed, I can tell you firsthand that many of my clients, individuals and couples alike, are negatively impacted. It can be difficult to measure the far-reaching effects of viewing too much […]

We Need to Talk About Your Ego Situation

When speaking casually, the term “ego” gets thrown around mostly in a negative way. “Wow, the ego on that guy,” or “His ego will never let him admit failure,” etc. While these statements might technically be using the term ego correctly, it does tend to make people associate the ego with self-aggrandizing or pomposity. That’s […]

Compulsive Behavior in Women: How You Might be Impeding Your Own Progress

You’re probably not going to like what I have to tell you, but I’m asking that you hear it nonetheless. So, here it is: Even though you are in therapy to help cope with being a sex addict partner, you may have developed compulsive behaviors of your own, and those behaviors may be holding you […]

What Are the Factors Leading to a Sex Addiction?

Obviously, sexual addictions aren't something you’re born with. Rather, they're a condition that develope over time. Most people can go about their lives, form relationships, have sex, even look at porn occasionally, and not necessarily become addicted. Remember, when we say addicted, we mean that the sexual compulsion to act out has literally ruined a […]

A Walk in the Shoes of Someone With a Sex Addiction

Hollywood and the media have given us a certain idea of what a sex addict and sexual compulsions looks like. Maybe they’re multi-millionaire actors and actresses constantly taking home other multi-millionaire actors and actresses. Perhaps sex addiction even seems a little fun. Why not surround yourself with rich beautiful people all the time? Then, all […]

Relationship Differences—How Much Is Too Much?

Common beliefs may tell you that it is essential to have the same interests and styles to co-exist happily. Some 64% of married Americans believe that “having shared interests” is very important for a successful marriage, according to the Pew Research Center. In fact, those surveyed ranked shared interests as more essential than good sex […]

Men: Look to Your Past. Do You Have a “Me Too” Moment?

In the wake of the terrible sexual harassment allegations against Harvey Weinstein, women all over social media are stepping forward to bravely say the words “Me Too” to show that they have also been victims of sexual harassment or sexual assault. The idea behind this movement is to show how widespread and how prevalent this […]

Is Porn Addiction Real?

To a person who struggles with compulsive sexual behavior like using online pornography, there is no such thing as a “little” bit of porn. A little bit becomes a whole lot, really quick. Despite that intimate knowledge of those who have come to realize that they are addicted to such behavior, many people scoff at […]

The Women Behind the Sex Scandals: Why They Need Help Too

Women have been coming forward in droves to share their stories of sexual assault and sexual misconduct perpetrated against them by some of the richest and most powerful men in the world. This is, I think, both a wonderful thing and a very complicated thing because, at the end of the day, there are real […]

Sex and Intimacy: Are They the Same?

A recently published article opined that the reason fewer and fewer men are interested in marriage or long-term relationships is that they have easy access to sex through text messages, dating apps, and streaming internet porn. In other words, they don't have to try to win affection by making themselves presentable or by having a […]

When His Therapy Feels Like It's Re-Victimizing You

The partners of sex addicts and porn addicts do not always have an easy road ahead of them. Often, an unevenness can begin to develop almost immediately where "his progress," "his work," or "his addiction," can begin to take precedence over your own recovery. This is especially true if the partners of sex addicts have […]

Intentions versus Resolutions

The New Year brings feelings of change. At the start of the year it’s common to set resolutions. It’s a healthy practice to take stock of our lives and consider habits we’d like to change or ways we’d like to grow. Perhaps you want to lose weight, develop new hobbies, or change professional careers...the list […]

Which Emotion Will You Nurture?

There is a well-known tale about an elder who was teaching his grandson about life. It speaks to the need to demonstrate characteristics of peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, compassion, and faith. In short, if you nurture these emotions rather than negative emotions, such as jealousy, hate, and greed, you live a much nicer life. […]

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