For a sex or porn addicts, an orgasm takes on a meaning, an importance, a significance that gets in the way of the rest of his or her life. The natural pleasure becomes confused and can even be lost. In speaking/writing to the desire for an orgasm, this aspect of self, one of our clients moves closer to understanding what is actually driving his need for that one more orgasm and where that leads.

Here's what "orgasm" had to say:

 Orgasm: I don't talk much. I don't need to. It's you, not me, who needs to describe my importance.

Me?

Orgasm:  Yes. You like me, right?

Indeed. You are pleasurable. You are exciting. You are a goal. 

Orgasm: Yup. Why do you value those things about me?

Pleasure is an end in and of itself. But you also are relaxing and provide stress relief.

Orgasm: Elaborate. 

Well, sometimes you help me sleep. 

Orgasm: Sounds nice but not especially sexy.

 Never thought of it that way. But I think that is correct. Sometimes I feel I need you in a very mechanical-biological way, like food when hungry. Has little to nothing to do with relationships or intimacy.

Orgasm: Well then why not just masturbate? Invoke me whenever you want? 

That was exactly my attitude and behavior until recently. I figured you were a pretty harmless good thing.

Orgasm: And now?

I needed to invoke you every day! Hours and hours of porn and masturbation! Mornings, evenings, even at work! Not good. And it's hard to be with my wife when she wants to have sex me if I already came twice in a day. You are an insatiable thing — the stuff sex addictions are made of.

 Orgasm: I guess. So you don't want me around anymore?

I didn't say that! I just need to figure out how to not be drawn to you constantly.

 Orgasm: George recommends sex with less or no emphasis on orgasm — free, intimate, sensual bonding. What's wrong with that?

That is good stuff. It makes me feel snuggle cozy with my wife. I still do want to orgasm, however.

Orgasm: What does wifey think of me?

She often says sex doesn't need to lead to orgasm, that it is enjoyable without. But I think she is relating feelings about her own orgasms. I think she also wishes I could orgasm more easily from sex with her — vaginal, oral, even hand. It seems I rarely achieve orgasm except by my own sexual compulsive behavior.

Orgasm: She doesn't like that?

I think she blames it on my years of masturbating. I don't know. I think it is just age. But she can help in nice ways at that final push, kissing, rubbing. Which is terrific.

 Orgasm: I think I have changed a lot with age. Less ejaculate. Less intensity. And now, with the prostate medicine, no ejaculate! There is an orgasmic sensation, at least, mostly sorta. But I sure am not what I used to be.

Yes. Multiple pops are easy when you are young. I was able to get you revved up multiple times a day though when I was compulsively using porn, not so long ago.

Orgasm: Yes. Diminishing returns. But still driven towards them.

Sounds like sexual compulsive behavior. That third chain-smoked cigarette tastes like shit and makes you hack, but still, you light up.

Orgasm: I never made you hack. Whenever I pop, even if just a little, it feels good.

Yeah, maybe that is part of the difficulty. I may be addicted to you, but you seem benign and good in and of yourself. It's me with the problem, not you, Orgasm. 

Orgasm: So where are we? How can I help?

 Funny thing to say! I don't know how you can help. Be less compelling! Don't show up uninvited, I mean, my craving for you mustn't show up uninvited. This is sort of confusing. Actually, I want you to remain pleasurable and intense. You are a good thing! I need to think of you as a special treat, you need to be candy, not bread, in my life.

Orgasm: Life is short. If you can have candy a lot, why not?

Rotted teeth. Rotted relationships. An unfulfilled feeling inside due to lack of nutritious intake. No. Candy is great but needs to be used in small doses. As George says: "You can't get enough of what won't satisfy you."

To learn more and to get help managing your sexual compulsive behavior, find help at Neulia Compulsion Solutions today.