All guys do it, right?  It doesn't mean you have a problem. It's not an addiction, is it? Why can't I watch a little porn?  

The problem for some men is that sex is an addictive substance, similar to alcohol and drugs.  Think of it in terms of social drinkers vs. alcoholics: one can drink, and get back to his life the next day; the other might risk his job, his marriage, his family, and his friends in the quest for more booze.  One is casual, the other is destructive.

So how does a man in need of porn addiction recovery think or act? What are some signs that you may be addicted to porn?

1. The Videos You Watch are Getting More Extreme

If you’re noticing a trend of escalation, this could be a warning sign.  If the videos you watch are getting more bizarre, more violent, or more shocking to “do it” for you, that’s a problem. Porn addiction is a progressive disorder, and it will get worse.

The people who produce porn understand the need for escalation.  There are videos that promise every kind of depraved act you can imagine. This kind of porn will never contain even a suggestion of intimacy or healthy sex lives. This kind of porn just further entrenches you in your addiction.

2.  You'd Rather Stay Isolated With Porn Than Be Social With Real People

If real sexual encounters seem like too much “work” for you, and masturbating to porn is preferable, you may have some underlying issues that would predispose you to porn addiction. Low self-esteem can have a lot to do with this situation.  

The more you engage in this type of activity, the more shame and anger you feels toward yourself.  An addicted brain will reach for the easiest method of soothing itself, which in the case of a porn addict is more porn.  Except you don’t actually feel better afterward.  It's lonely. There's nobody to share this moment with. You become resentful, and the cycle starts again.

3. You Have Difficulty Getting/Maintaining Erections During Real Sexual Encounters (Or You Can't Have Sex Without Thinking About Porn)

While anyone might have an occasional issue brought on by stress, illness or anxiety, a continual inability to get an erection when with a real partner is a warning sign. Your brain is now hard-wired to only accept porn as sexual stimulus, and without it, you can't be sexual at all.  This can have a huge impact on your relationships or marriage, and create hurt feelings on both sides.

4. You’re Using Porn at Work, Even Though You Know You're Being Monitored

This is really playing with fire, and many men I've worked with have lost their jobs this way. If your compulsion to use porn is so strong, you can't resist putting your job at stake, that's an indication of an addiction. You’re so gripped by the pull of porn, it's beginning to overtake rational thought. Your entire livelihood hangs in the balance, and porn keeps winning out.

5. Your Need To Act Out Sexually Has Progressed From Porn to Real People

If your habits of watching videos have led you to seek out more “real” entertainment, this could be a sure sign of addiction.  Webcam shows, massage parlors, escorts, affairs, or live sex shows are all manifestations of your addiction moving from the screen the the real world.  Your need for sex can put you into potentially dangerous and, in some cases, illegal situations. If your compulsion is overriding your sense of personal safety, sense of connection to your family, or your willingness to obey laws, you need help immediately.

This is the portrait of a man in desperate need porn addiction recovery.  He needs a way out. It's not watching a little porn that’s a problem, it’s when that “little bit of porn” leads to the day your wife leaves you, the day you lose your job, or the day you get caught in public. That's when that little porn becomes a big problem.

If you or your partner is struggling with an addiction to porn, there is help. You’re not alone, and recovery is within your reach. Find out if you need help with porn addiction. Take Neulia's online quiz.

For private and affordable online sex and porn addiction therapy based on sex addiction expert George Collins' time-tested methods, check out Neulia.com.