Yes, Female Porn Addicts Exist (And They May Have it Worse Than Male Addicts)

Worried Teenager Woman On The Beach In WinterAddiction to porn is often considered something that only affects men. This thinking could be the result of several different scenarios. Perhaps it’s society’s fault for continually reinforcing the idea that women are meant to be sexualized, but not sexual. Or perhaps the media tends to assign addictions to the genders — sex for men, shopping for women. However, I think one of the most likely scenarios is that women who are addicted to porn are often too ashamed to come forward, so we don’t hear about them.

 

The deck is stacked against female sex and porn addicts right from the start. From a very young age, girls are taught to be desirable, while still somehow remaining unaware of, or uninvolved with their own sexuality. Therefore we, as a society, are somehow not prepared to handle a woman so compelled by her sexuality that it leads to addiction. She is not likely to be met with understanding, or offers of help. Instead, she will be met with confusion, disbelief … even disgust.

 

I think many of us realize logically, that of course a woman can be just as addicted to porn as a man. However, we do not often respond logically to this news — we respond emotionally.

 

The same addictive processes are at work in the brain of a male addict as in a female addict. When she watches porn for the first time, either alone or with a partner, she may realize that she immediately identifies with the women in the videos. She wants to be them, or be like them, and before she even realizes what’s happened, her fantasies have overtaken her life.

 

Although the women are sometimes better at hiding their addiction than men, the fallout is often just as severe. Relationships are ruined, jobs are lost, money is spent on porn rather than necessities, and her social relationships are neglected. All of the same signs are there, but the people around her might not be looking for the right cause.

 

If we are totally unprepared to accept the fact that women can become addicted to porn, how would we possibly know to look for the signs? Often, the people around an addicted woman might think “Well, yes, she was acting withdrawn and strange, but we never saw any drugs, alcohol, or piles of credit cards around, so I figured she wasn’t addicted to anything.” After checking off all the addictions women are “allowed” to have, a porn addiction never even crossed their minds.

 

I am greatly concerned for these women, because I know the road ahead will be difficult. She herself feels “dirty” for even having this addiction, and therefore she may spiral into a self-destructive mode much more quickly than a man might. She may hesitate in reaching out, for fear of not being taken seriously. The reassurance of “all guys watch porn,” isn’t there for her, as a woman.

 

I want to stress here and now that a male addiction to porn, and a female addiction to porn are the same addiction. One is just as serious as the other, and as such, they both require treatment. I encourage any woman who fears she may be addicted to reach out right now, and I want to reassure her that she will be understood, and she will be met with compassion and care. She is not the only woman to ever suffer this way. There are many others like her.

 

Society has a long way to go in admitting that women can be addicted to porn. Don’t wait for society to catch up. You need help now, and Compulsion Solutions can provide that.

 

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