Porn Guilt—The Gift That Keeps On Giving

bigstock-Man-Fustrated-27249530Guilt about your porn addiction, your acting out sexually, is the gift that keeps on giving, and giving and giving—until you’re in the emotional gutter, your self-esteem is toast.

 

Guilt. You feel “less than.” Guilt. You isolate. You forget about your friends. You are sure that they must be better off than you—for a myriad of reasons. But most importantly they are better off because they aren’t trapped in porn prison. They are happy. They have hobbies. They have a life. Your hobby is porn.

 

When you are compulsively using porn, you’re afraid. Afraid you’ll get caught. Afraid it’ll get worse. And, you know it will. You try praying…and it doesn’t work. When you don’t get the magical help you are praying for, you get angry about having to pray. Your guilt seems to be torturing you.

 

Guilt is a progressive disorder. So is your use of porn. What you didn’t think you’d do one month you end up doing the next month. You’re straight, yet you start looking at tranny sex. Then comes fear about that. Fear that you’ll actually seek out and have sex with a tranny. And based on what I’ve seen over and over again, you will. It’s the natural law of addiction. You can’t get enough of what won’t (ever) satisfy you.

 

Then comes more guilt, overwhelming guilt that hits your body with possible physical symptoms like headaches, muscle aches, stomach distress. Guilt can also make you angry at the people in your life you care the most about. But in truth you’re angry at yourself. So you project that angry guilt onto others in an attempt to feel better. When your wife or partner wants to know what’s wrong, you can’t answer. How can you reveal what you’re thinking and doing? You get angry instead to mask the guilt.

 

Pain. Guilt produces pain and confusion. Your mind can start to spin—What do I do? Who can I talk to about this? I’m too ashamed and guilty to tell anyone. This is disgusting. I’m disgusting. I can’t sleep. I need to masturbate to get to sleep.

 

The cycle of guilt can become uncontrollable and inconsolable. It can get to the point where you’re masturbating in a toilet stall at work. Your plea is: Please, someone help me before I do something crazy!”

 

But you already are doing something that is making you feel crazy. You’re doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. But you are stuck in the cycle of the same thoughts and behaviors. Every day. Day after day. Week after week. Year after year.

 

Guilt builds up causing more acting out, more isolation until your self-esteem is in the toilet. You don’t do well at work. You’re preoccupied with your addiction and the residual guilt. It shows. People notice and may ask, “What’s wrong?” You don’t feel like you can tell them the truth of course, so you make something up. Your boss notices. It comes out in your performance evaluations. You can’t tell him either. You feel stupid. You feel angry.

 

Yes, guilt indeed is the gift that keeps on giving and giving and giving—that is until you are ready to change your mind, until you are ready to show up for your true self. Until you realize that this all started because you were/are living in reaction to your old stories. Until you realize that who you really are, the real you in there is not your acting out, not the voice of guilt.

 

You can clean up your stories, your addiction, your guilt. You can get the help that you need to be who you are now. In truth, at your core you are fine. You always have been. You just need some help in discovering that fine and true being at your core.

5 thoughts on “Porn Guilt—The Gift That Keeps On Giving

  1. Kevin

    thanks for your help i’v been doing porn from 16 now i’m 58 on an off for years i stopped now for two weeks how long to i feel better with wife i don’t mine waiting just want a idea

    1. Compulsion Solutions Post author

      Kevin, Get ahold of my book, “Breaking the Cycle” and/or my wife’s book, “A Couple’s Guide to Sexual Addiction.” And, check out the website for more help. We’re right here for you. Give me a call at 925-932-0201 Best, George (director)

    1. Compulsion Solutions Post author

      Brady, Get a hold of my book, “Breaking the Cycle.” It’s at Barnes and Noble and amazon.com. It works. You might also try fightthenewdrug.com. it’s set up for your age group. You could also take our course: neulia.com. Let me know how it goes through Compulsion Solutions. Best, George

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