Faye, Thank you for everything you have done for me. You are something of a fable — a combination of a Sprite, a Jedi, a Ninja, and Yoda … with laser-like intuition and Mensa IQ . I don’t know what I would have done without you!
Faye Reitman came into my life at a time when I was desperately seeking help for my sex-addict husband. I ended up finding help for myself instead. I reached out… for him… because our world was falling down on our heads. I had given all I possessed to help him and to save the relationship, and as a result, I was losing my home, my financial security, my livelihood and my marriage. Not to mention my sense of dignity and self-esteem. Faye reached back… for me.
I had tried counseling a time or two. I came from a troubled family and a string or bad relationship choices. However, I became disenchanted with therapists and almost gave up believing there was someone out there who could help, until fate, and my last bit of faith, brought Faye my way.
Faye has been my mainstay through my journey back to a life I can call my own. It has been, and is, along road, but she has been a wise and generous friend and counselor every step of the way. She has been many things to me… skilled, professional, funny, human, understanding. But above all of things she has been something simple, but rare in my world: reliable. A person to count on. I am glad every day that I made the call that brought Faye into my life. It is the best investment I ever made.
I came to you and Compulsion Solutions over nine months ago, distraught, confused and totally despairing. My life did not seem to be my own. I was in a relationship with a sex addict, and I had lost my grasp on my sense of self, my worth, and my direction in life. I was so confused–the betrayals, lies, distortions, and disappointments had taken their toll, and I had become someone I did not like. I was emotionally fragile, obsessive, and in so much pain. I had tried couples counseling with my partner, and several 12-step programs for sex and love addicts, codependents, and couples in recovery. Although I gained some help along the way, nothing had really worked for me….until I found Compulsion Solutions.
When I met you, I knew instantly that I had finally found a therapist with the experience, deep intelligence, and true compassion I needed in order to make the healing journey I was to begin. You had the integrity and respect to be honest and forthright from our first phone call, telling me that my healing would require hard work, (homework!), deep self-reflection, and commitment. I was ready for all of that! But you also let me know that you would be there the whole way through. You have more than matched my efforts, responding to my every communication, offering me new insights and helpful materials, affirming me always, and generally demonstrating an unbelievable ability to “hold” me and the healing space I’ve needed. When I thought I could not bear the pain any longer, you were there for me. When I was confused and seeking the truth, you confirmed my deepest intuitions. When I realized how much damage I had done to myself and to my daughter by adopting and continuing to nurture a false self instead of honoring my authentic self, you responded with gentle insights and loving understanding. Through your guidance, I am now learning that my true self, my values, my integrity, my heart, even my body, are worth far too much to endure continued abuse of any kind (whether from myself or others). I am learning that my life is precious, and that I deserve to live it to its fullest, unencumbered by the dysfunctional thinking and flaccid will forces I had developed through past traumas. I deserve, and am capable of, true healing, and a life that belongs fully to me–one full of love, friendship, community, respect, truth and beauty.
Now, five months out of the last romantic relationship I will ever have with an active sex and love addict, I am experiencing my life in ways that are deeper and more hopeful than ever before. I am applying to PhD programs, working on new and exciting projects with brilliant people, building a new kind of community around me, engaging fully and lovingly with my daughter and her life, and even taking a long-dreamed-of vacation to Hawaii! My life is not perfect, nor will it ever be. I feel the full continuum of human emotions, from joy and excitement to sadness and fear. But there is also a new-found strength and empowerment in me; and the sense that I am not totally alone.
I will forever be grateful to you, Faye, for all that you have given to me. I only wish all people who are suffering had the good fortune of finding someone like you: full of love, compassion, and complete dedication to your clients and your profession. You have been, and continue to be, my teacher, my counselor, and my friend.
With love and gratitude, Annette