Can I Masturbate During Recovery?

Can I Masturbate During Recovery?

One of the most common questions or concerns for the men I see in recovery for sex and porn addiction centers on masturbation. Can I masturbate during recovery? Will this set me back? How can I tell the difference between…

How to Quit Porn: 4 Steps To Recovery

How to Quit Porn: 4 Steps To Recovery

Trying to figure out how to quit porn? Recovery from an addiction to sex or pornography is much more like a marathon rather than a sprint. Much will be required of and from you in your pursuit of sobriety. Recovery…

Dealing with Withdrawal Symptoms of Sex Addiction

Dealing with Withdrawal Symptoms of Sex Addiction

Attempting to stop your compulsive sexual behavior requires a non-simple truth—the need to become comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. Once you have acknowledged you have a sex addiction, and made the decision to get help, you need to prepare yourself for…

Your Inner Sex Addict is Broadcasting Fake News

Your Inner Sex Addict is Broadcasting Fake News

Your inner sex addict is broadcasting “fake news”   Fake news—or a hoax—is making, well, news, a lot these days and has become a buzzword representing misrepresentation and falsehoods. Fake news is written and published with the intent to mislead…

Sex Addiction or Porn Addiction: You Are Not Alone

Sex Addiction or Porn Addiction: You Are Not Alone

A key deterrent in your getting help in recovery from compulsive sexual behavior is the feeling that you’re alone in this battle. This belief leads to further isolation, further procrastination in getting help, and further suffering from sex addiction. If you’ve…

Depression and Sex Addiction

Depression and Sex Addiction

The old adage, what comes first, the chicken or the egg? When it comes to the symbiotic relationship between depression and sex addiction, it is often difficult to determine which causes which. When working with people who struggle with compulsive…

Walking On The Edge

Walking On The Edge

When working with my clients who struggle with compulsive sexual behavior, the most common feedback I receive concerns their behavior that just teeters back and forth around their addiction. I refer to this as “edging.” Perhaps they are not looking…

Setting Up Your Wellness Practice

Setting Up Your Wellness Practice

People who struggle with compulsive sexual behavior (or any addiction for that matter) who are looking to break free from their addictions must realize that sex addiction recovery involves more than just quitting the behavior. They must realize that many…

Feelings Are NOT Facts

Feelings Are NOT Facts

We often talk to our clients about investigating the feelings underneath the sexual acting out behavior. Something must be driving the need to act out, right? Often these are called triggers —thoughts, feelings, and situations that push us to seek…

Porn Doc Is In … Dealing With Sexual Scenes on TV

Porn Doc Is In … Dealing With Sexual Scenes on TV

Dear PornDoc, Q: I’m a married man in recovery from sexual addiction and pornography. I’ve noticed that since I’ve been in treatment, I get very uncomfortable watching any kind of nudity in movies and TV programs with my wife. I…

Sex Addiction and Happiness

Sex Addiction and Happiness

When you act out sexually, are you ever really happy? Maybe? What if you think of happiness as before, during AND after? I worked with a return client recently who had completely stopped his sexual addictive behavior and when I…

Lessons From Dorian Gray

Lessons From Dorian Gray

In Oscar Wilde’s, The Picture of Dorian Gray, an artist’s portrait of Dorian reflects the soul of his subject. The original portrait captures the true beauty and innocence of Dorian at that time in his life. Over the years, Gray…

Replace That Sexually Compulsive Behavior!

Replace That Sexually Compulsive Behavior!

Think of your compulsive sexual behavior as energy. More specifically, think of it as water…water that is used to flowing in both a certain direction and at a steady pace. Attempting to corral or control the water (i.e. building a…

An Unwelcome Guest?

An Unwelcome Guest?

Imagine you’re at home and you get a knock at your front door. You’re not expecting anyone, so you’re dubious. You take a clandestine peek to see who it is… hopefully without them seeing you. Now imagine that your “guest”…

Doing Dumb Things On My Smartphone

Doing Dumb Things On My Smartphone

It may be difficult to think of a time when we were sans smartphones…or even a plain cell phone for that matter. Technological advances in personal electronics, particularly the mobile phone, have come fast and furiously. In the early 2000’s,…

Inside Out — Talking To Your Addict

Inside Out — Talking To Your Addict

If you have children, or you’re a child at heart, maybe you’ve seen the movie, Inside Out, an animated film that cleverly depicts the emotions inside a child’s mind as a cast of characters trying to work together—or not—to help…

Wired To Worry

Wired To Worry

Therapists often like to use the onion metaphor for depicting feelings as layers that need to be peeled back to expose the truth…or in California we opt for the artichoke as we eventually expose the heart! If you are struggling…

What’s Your Travel Plan?

What’s Your Travel Plan?

If you’re someone who struggles with a pornography addiction, sex addiction, or both, traveling on your own can be particularly worrisome. In order to act out sexually, you essentially need place and space…both conveniently offered when you are in your…