Sex Addiction or Porn Addiction: You Are Not Alone

Sex Addiction or Porn Addiction: You Are Not Alone

A key deterrent in your getting help in recovery from compulsive sexual behavior is the feeling that you’re alone in this battle. This belief leads to further isolation, further procrastination in getting help, and further suffering. If you’ve already been down…

Depression and Sex Addiction

Depression and Sex Addiction

The old adage, what comes first, the chicken or the egg? When it comes to the symbiotic relationship between addiction and depression, it is often difficult to determine which causes which. When working with people who struggle with compulsive sexual…

Walking On The Edge

Walking On The Edge

When working with my clients who struggle with compulsive sexual behavior, the most common feedback I receive concerns their behavior that just teeters back and forth around their addiction. I refer to this as “edging.” Perhaps they are not looking…

Setting Up Your Wellness Practice

Setting Up Your Wellness Practice

People who struggle with compulsive sexual behavior (or any addiction for that matter) who are looking to break free from their addictions must realize that recovery involves more than just quitting the behavior. They must realize that many times sex…

Self-Criticism vs Self-Compassion

Self-Criticism vs Self-Compassion

Examining your sexual compulsive behavior, you may find that negative feelings often drive the need to act out sexually. Kind of makes sense, doesn’t it? If you’re feeling lousy it’s a natural reaction to search for other things to cope…

Feelings Are NOT Facts

Feelings Are NOT Facts

We often talk to our clients about investigating the feelings underneath the sexual acting out behavior. Something must be driving the need to act out, right? Often these are called triggers —thoughts, feelings, and situations that push us to seek…

Porn Doc Is In … Dealing With Sexual Scenes on TV

Porn Doc Is In … Dealing With Sexual Scenes on TV

Dear PornDoc, Q: I’m a married man in recovery from sexual addiction and pornography. I’ve noticed that since I’ve been in treatment, I get very uncomfortable watching any kind of nudity in movies and TV programs with my wife. I…

Sex Addiction and Happiness

Sex Addiction and Happiness

When you act out sexually, are you ever really happy? Maybe? What if you think of happiness as before, during AND after? I worked with a return client recently who had completely stopped his sexual addictive behavior and when I…

Lessons From Dorian Gray

Lessons From Dorian Gray

In Oscar Wilde’s, The Picture of Dorian Gray, an artist’s portrait of Dorian reflects the soul of his subject. The original portrait captures the true beauty and innocence of Dorian at that time in his life. Over the years, Gray…

Replace That Sexually Compulsive Behavior!

Replace That Sexually Compulsive Behavior!

Think of your compulsive sexual behavior as energy. More specifically, think of it as water…water that is used to flowing in both a certain direction and at a steady pace. Attempting to corral or control the water (i.e. building a…

An Unwelcome Guest?

An Unwelcome Guest?

Imagine you’re at home and you get a knock at your front door. You’re not expecting anyone, so you’re dubious. You take a clandestine peek to see who it is… hopefully without them seeing you. Now imagine that your “guest”…

Doing Dumb Things On My Smartphone

Doing Dumb Things On My Smartphone

It may be difficult to think of a time when we were sans smartphones…or even a plain cell phone for that matter. Technological advances in personal electronics, particularly the mobile phone, have come fast and furiously. In the early 2000’s,…

Inside Out — Talking To Your Addict

Inside Out — Talking To Your Addict

If you have children, or you’re a child at heart, maybe you’ve seen the movie, Inside Out, an animated film that cleverly depicts the emotions inside a child’s mind as a cast of characters trying to work together—or not—to help…

Wired To Worry

Wired To Worry

Therapists often like to use the onion metaphor for depicting feelings as layers that need to be peeled back to expose the truth…or in California we opt for the artichoke as we eventually expose the heart! If you are struggling…

What’s Your Travel Plan?

What’s Your Travel Plan?

If you’re someone who struggles with a pornography addiction, sex addiction, or both, traveling on your own can be particularly worrisome. In order to act out sexually, you essentially need place and space…both conveniently offered when you are in your…

Sex Or Porn Detox: 4 Steps

Sex Or Porn Detox: 4 Steps

If you struggle with compulsive sexual behavior, what about “detoxing” from porn and/or sex? Detoxes seem to be all the rage. People are removing certain types of foods from their diets; experimenting with lessening or simply removing the levels of…

Porn In The Classroom?

Porn In The Classroom?

Think back to the time when you first started using pornography. How old were you? What got you started? Perhaps it was finding magazines in your own home or at a friend or family member’s home? If you’re younger, maybe…